2 <i>There is but one problem --
3 the only one in the world --
4 to restore to men a spiritual
5 content, spiritual concerns....</i>
6 <b>-- A de St. Exupery</b>
9 The customs inspector had a round smooth face which
10 registered the most benevolent of attitudes. He was
11 respectfully cordial and solicitous.
12 "Welcome," he murmured. "How do you like our sunshine?" He
13 glanced at the passport in my hand. "Beautiful morning, isn't
15 I proffered him my passport and stood the suitcase on the
16 white counter. The inspector rapidly leafed through it with his
17 long careful fingers. He was dressed in a white uniform with
18 silver buttons and silver braid on the shoulders. He laid the
19 passport aside and touched the suitcase with the tips of his
21 "Curious," he said. "The case has not yet dried. It is
22 difficult to imagine that somewhere the weather can be bad."
23 "Yes," I said with a sigh, "we are already well into the
24 autumn," and opened the suitcase.
25 The inspector smiled sympathetically and glanced at it
26 absent-mindedly. "It's impossible amid our sunshine to
27 visualize an autumn. Thank you, that will be quite all
28 right.... Rain, wet roofs, wind...
29 "And what if I have something hidden under the linen?" I
30 asked -- I don't appreciate conversations about the weather. He
32 "Just an empty formality," he said. "Tradition. A
33 conditioned reflex of all customs inspectors, if you will." He
34 handed me a sheet of heavy paper. "And here is another
35 conditioned reflex. Please read it -- it's rather unusual. And
36 sign it if you don't mind."
37 I read. It was a law concerning immigration, printed in
38 elegant type on heavy paper and in four languages. Immigration
39 was absolutely forbidden. The customs man regarded me steadily.
40 "Curious, isn't it?" he asked.
41 "In any case it's intriguing," I replied, drawing my
42 fountain pen. "Where do I sign?"
43 "Where and how you please," said the customs man. "Just
45 I signed under the Russian text over the line "I have been
46 informed on the immigration laws."
47 'Thank you," said the customs man, filing the paper away
48 in his desk, 'Now you know practically all our laws. And during
49 your entire stay -- How long will you be staying with us?"
50 I shrugged my shoulders.
51 "It's difficult to say in advance. Depends on how the work
53 "Shall we say a month?"
54 'That would be about it. Let's say a month."
55 "And during this whole month," he bent over the passport
56 making some notation, "during this entire month you won't need
57 any other laws." He handed me my passport. "I shouldn't even
58 have to mention that you can prolong your stay with us to any
59 reasonable extent. But in the meantime, let it be thirty days.
60 If you find it desirable to stay longer, visit the police
61 station on the 16th of May and pay one dollar... You have
64 "That's fine. By the way, it is not at all necessary to
65 have exclusively a dollar. We accept any currency. Rubles,
67 "I don't have cruzeiros," I said. 'I have only dollars,
68 rubles, and some English pounds. Will that suit you?"
69 "Undoubtedly. By the way, so as not to forget, would you
70 please deposit ninety dollars and seventy-two cents."
71 "With pleasure," I said, "but why?"
72 "It's customary. To guarantee the minimum needs. We have
73 never had anyone with us who did not have some needs."
74 I counted out ninety-one dollars, and without sitting
75 down, he proceeded to write out a receipt. His neck grew red
76 from the awkward position. I looked around. The white counter
77 stretched along the entire pavilion. On the other side of the
78 barrier, customs inspectors in white smiled cordially, laughed,
79 explained things in a confidential manner. On this side,
80 brightly clad tourists shuffled impatiently, snapped suitcase
81 locks, and gaped excitedly. While they waited they feverishly
82 thumbed through advertising brochures, loudly devised all kinds
83 of plans, secretly and openly anticipated happy days ahead, and
84 now thirsted to surmount the white counter as quickly as
85 possible. Sedate London clerks and their athletic-looking
86 brides, pushy Oklahoma farmers in bright shirts hanging outside
87 Bermuda shorts and sandals over bare feet, Turin workers with
88 their well-rouged wives and numerous children, small-time
89 Catholic bosses from Spain, Finnish lumbermen with their pipes
90 considerately banked, Hungarian basketball players, Iranian
91 students, union organizers from Zambia...
92 The customs man gave me my receipt and counted out
93 twenty-eight cents change.
94 "Well -- there is all the formality. I hope I haven't
95 detained you too long. May I wish you a pleasant stay!"
96 "Thank you," I said and took my suitcase.
97 He regarded me with his head slightly bent sideways,
98 smiling out of his bland, smooth face.
99 "Through this turnstile, please. <i>Au revoir.</i> May I
100 once more wish you the best."
101 I went out on the plaza following an Italian pair with
102 four kids and two robot redcaps.
103 The sun stood high over mauve mountains. Everything in the
104 plaza was bright and shiny and colorful. A bit too bright and
105 colorful, as it usually is in resort towns. Gleaming
106 orange-and-red buses surrounded by tourist crowds, shiny and
107 polished green of the vegetation in the squares with white,
108 blue, yellow, and gold pavilions, kiosks, and tents. Mirrorlike
109 surfaces, vertical, horizontal, and inclined, which flared with
110 sunbursts. Smooth matte hexagons underfoot and under the wheels
111 -- red, black, and gray, just slightly springy and smothering
112 the sound of footsteps. I put down the suitcase and donned
114 Out of all the sunny towns it has been my luck to visit,
115 this was without a doubt the sunniest. And that was all wrong.
116 It would have been much easier if the day had been gray, if
117 there had been dirt and mud, if the pavilion had also been gray
118 with concrete walls, and if on that wet concrete was scratched
119 something obscene, tired, and pointless, born of boredom. Then
120 I would probably feel like working at once. I am positive of
121 this because such things are irritating and demand action. It's
122 still hard to get used to the idea that poverty can be wealthy.
123 And so the urge is lacking and there is no desire to begin
124 immediately, but rather to take one of these buses, like the
125 red-and-blue one, and take off to the beach, do a little scuba
126 diving, get a tan, play some ball, or find Peck, stretch out on
127 the floor in some cool room and reminisce on all the good stuff
128 so that he could ask about Bykov, about the Trans-Pluto
129 expedition, about the new ships on which I too am behind the
130 times, but still know better than he, and so that he could
131 recollect the uprising and boast of his scars and his high
132 social position.... It would be most convenient if Peck did
133 have a high social position. It would be well if he were, for
135 A small darkish rotund individual in a white suit and a
136 round white hat set at a rakish angle approached deliberately,
137 wiping his lips with a dainty handkerchief. The hat was
138 equipped with a transparent green shade and a green ribbon on
139 which was stamped "Welcome." On his right earlobe glistened a
141 "Welcome aboard," said the man.
143 "A pleasure to have you with us. My name is Ahmad."
144 "And my name is Ivan," said I. "Pleased to make your
146 We nodded to each other and regarded the tourists entering
147 the buses. They were happily noisy and the warm wind rolled
148 their discarded butts and crumpled candy wrappers along the
149 square. Ahmad's face bore a green tint from the light filtering
150 through his cap visor.
151 "Vacationers," he said. "Carefree and loud. Now they will
152 be taken to their hotels and will immediately rush off to the
154 "I wouldn't mind a run on water skis," I observed.
155 "Really? I never would have guessed. There's nothing you
156 look less like than a vacationer."
157 "So be it," I said. "In fact I did come to work"
158 "To work? Well, that happens too, some do come to work
159 here. Two years back Jonathan Kreis came here to paint a
160 picture." He laughed. "Later there was an assault-and-battery
161 case in Rome, some papal nuncio was involved, can't remember
163 "Because of the picture?"
164 "No, hardly. He didn't paint a thing here. The casino was
165 where you could find him day or night. Shall we go have a
167 "Let's. You can give me a few pointers."
168 "It's my pleasurable duty -- to give advice," said Ahmad.
169 We bent down simultaneously and both of us took hold of
171 "It's okay -- I'll manage."
172 "No," countered Ahmad, "you are the guest and I the host.
173 Let's go to yonder bar. It's quiet there at this time."
174 We went in under a blue awning. Ahmad seated me at a
175 table, put my suitcase on a vacant chair, and went to the
176 counter. It was cool and an air conditioner sighed in the
177 background. Ahmad returned with a tray. There were tall glasses
178 and flat plates with butter-gold tidbits.
179 "Not very strong," said Ahmad, "but really cold to make up
181 "I don't like it strong in the morning either," I said.
182 I quaffed the glass. The stuff was good.
183 "A swallow -- a bite," counseled Ahmad, "Like this: a
185 The tidbits crunched and melted in the mouth. In my view,
186 they were unnecessary. We were silent for some time, watching
187 the square from under the marquee. gently purring, the buses
188 pulled out one after another into their respective tree-lined
189 avenues. They looked ponderous yet strangely elegant in their
191 "It would be too noisy there," said Ahmad. "Fine cottages,
192 lots of women -- to suit any taste -- and right on the water,
193 but no privacy. I don't think it's for you."
194 "Yes," I agreed. "The noise would bother me. Anyway, I
195 don't like vacationers, Ahmad. Can't stand it when people work
197 Ahmad nodded and carefully placed the next tidbit in his
198 mouth. I watched him chew. There was something professional and
199 concentrated in the movement of his lower jaw. Having
200 swallowed, he said, "No, the synthetic will never compare with
201 the natural product. Not the same bouquet." He flexed his lips,
202 smacked them gently, and continued, "There are two excellent
203 hotels in the center of town, but, in my view..."
204 "Yes, that won't do either," I said. "A hotel places
205 certain obligations on you. I never heard that anything
206 worthwhile has ever been written in a hotel."
207 "Well, that's not quite true," retorted Ahmad, critically
208 studying the last tidbit. "I read one book and in it they said
209 that it was in fact written in a hotel -- the Hotel Florida."
210 "Aah," I said, "you are correct. But then your city is not
211 being shelled by cannons."
212 "Cannons? Of course not. Not as a rule, anyway."
213 "Just as I thought. But, as a matter of fact, it has been
214 noted that something worthwhile can be written only in a hotel
215 which is under bombardment."
216 Ahmad took the last tidbit after all.
217 'That would be difficult to arrange," he said. "In our
218 times it's hard to obtain a cannon. Besides, it's very
219 expensive; the hotel could lose its clientele."
220 "Hotel Florida also lost its clients in its time.
221 Hemingway lived in it alone."
224 "Ah... but that was so long ago, in the fascist times. But
225 times have changed, Ivan."
226 "Yes," said I, "and therefore in our times there is no
227 point in writing in hotels."
228 "To blazes with hotels then," said Ahmad. "I know what you
229 need. You need a boarding house." He took out a notebook.
230 "State your requirements and we'll try to match them up."
231 "Boarding house," I said. "I don't know. I don't think so,
232 Ahmad. Do understand that I don't want to meet people whom I
233 don't want to know. That's to begin with. And in the second
234 place, who lives in private boarding houses? These same
235 vacationers who don't have enough money for a cottage. They too
236 work hard at having fun. They concoct picnics, meets, and song
237 fests. At night they play the banjo. On top of which they grab
238 anyone they can get hold of and make them participate in
239 contests for the longest uninterrupted kiss. Most important of
240 all, they are all transients. But I am interested in your
241 country, Ahmad. In your townspeople. I'll tell you what I need:
242 I need a quiet house with a garden. Not too far from downtown.
243 A relaxed family, with a respectable housewife. An attractive
244 young daughter. You get the picture, Ahmad?"
245 Ahmad took the empty glasses, went over to the counter,
246 and returned with full ones. Now they contained a colorless
247 transparent liquid and the small plates were stacked with tiny
248 multistoried sandwiches.
249 "I know of such a cozy house," declared Ahmad. "The widow
250 is forty-five and the daughter twenty. The son is eleven. Let's
251 finish the drinks and we'll be on our way. I think you'll like
252 it. The rent is standard, but of course it's more than in a
253 hoarding house. You have come to stay for a long time?"
255 "Good Lord! Just a month?"
256 "I don't know how my affairs will go. Perhaps I may tarry
258 "By all means, you will," said Ahmad. "I can see that you
259 have totally failed to grasp just where you have arrived. You
260 simply don't understand what a good time you can have here and
261 how you don't have to think about a thing."
262 We finished our drinks, got up, and went across the square
263 under the hot sun to the parking area. Ahmad walked with a
264 rapid, slightly rolling gait, with the green visor of his cap
265 set low over his eyes, swinging the suitcase in a debonair
266 manner. The next batch of tourists was being discharged
267 broadcast from the customs house.
268 "Would you like me to... Frankly?" said Ahmad suddenly.
269 "Yes, I would like you to," said I. What else could I say?
270 Forty years I have lived in this world and have yet to learn to
271 deflect this unpleasant question.
272 "You won't write a thing here," said Ahmad. "It's mighty
273 hard to write in our town."
274 "It's always hard to write anything. However, fortunately
276 "I accept this gladly. But in that case, it is slightly
277 impossible here. At least for a transient."
279 "It's not a case of being frightened. You simply won't
280 want to work. You won't be able to stay at the typewriter.
281 You'll feel annoyed by the typewriter. Do you know what the joy
284 "You don't know anything, Ivan. So far you still don't
285 know anything about it. You are bound to traverse the twelve
286 circles of paradise. It's funny, of course, but I envy you."
287 We stopped by a long open car. Ahmad threw the suitcase
288 into the back seat and flung the door open for me.
290 "Presumably you have already passed through them?" I
291 asked, sliding into the seat.
292 He got in behind the wheel and started the engine.
293 "What exactly do you mean?"
294 "The twelve circles of paradise."
295 "As for me, Ivan, a long time ago I selected my favorite
296 circle," said Ahmad. The car began to roll noiselessly through
297 the square. "The others haven't existed for me for quite a
298 while. Unfortunately. It's like old age, with all its
299 privileges and deficiencies."
300 The car rushed through a park and sped along a shaded,
301 straight thoroughfare. I kept looking around with great
302 interest but couldn't recognize a thing. It was stupid to
303 expect to. We had been landed at night, in a torrential rain;
304 seven thousand exhausted tourists stood on the pier looking at
305 the burning liner. We hadn't seen the city -- in its place was
306 a black, wet emptiness dotted with red flashes. It had rattled,
307 boomed, and screeched as though being rent asunder. "We'll be
308 slaughtered in the dark, like rabbits," Robert had said, and I
309 immediately had sent him back to the barge to unload the
310 armored car. The gangway had collapsed and the car had fallen
311 into the water, and when Peck had pulled Robert out, all blue
312 from the cold, he had come over to me and said through
313 chattering teeth, "Didn't I tell you it was dark?"
314 Ahmad said suddenly, "When I was a boy, we lived near the
315 port and we used to come out here to beat up the factory kids.
316 Many of them had brass knuckles, and that got me a broken nose.
317 Half of my life I put up with a crooked nose until I had it
318 fixed last year. I sure loved to scrap when I was young. I used
319 to have a hunk of lead pipe, and once I had to sit in jail for
320 six months, but that didn't help."
321 He stopped, grinning. I waited awhile, then said, "You
322 can't find a good lead pipe these days. Now rubber truncheons
323 are in fashion: you buy them used from the police."
324 "Exactly," said Ahmad. "Or else you buy a dumbbell, cut
325 off one ball and there you are, ready to go. But the guys are
326 not what they used to be. Now you get deported for such stuff."
327 "Yes. And what else did you occupy yourself with in your
330 "I planned on joining the interplanetary force and trained
331 to withstand overstress. We also played at who could dive the
333 "We too," said Ahmad. "We went down ten meters for
334 automatics and whiskey. Over by the piers they lay on the
335 seabed by the case. I used to get nosebleeds. But when the fire
336 fights started, we began to find corpses with weights around
337 their necks, so we quit that game."
338 "It's a very unpleasant sight, a corpse under water --
339 especially if there is a current," said I.
340 Ahmad chuckled "I've seen worse. I had occasion to work
342 "This was after the fracas?"
343 "Much later. When the anti-gangster laws were passed."
344 'They were called gangsters here too?"
345 "What else would you call them? Not brigands, certainly.
346 'A group of brigands, armed with flame throwers and gas bombs,
347 have laid siege to the municipal buildings,' " he pronounced
348 expressively. "It doesn't sound right, you can feel that. A
349 brigand is an ax, a bludgeon, a mustache up to the ears, a
351 "A lead pipe," I offered.
353 "What are you doing tonight?" he asked.
355 "You have friends here?"
357 "Well... then it's different."
359 "Well, I was going to suggest something to you, but since
361 "By the way, " I said, "who is your mayor?"
362 "Mayor? The devil knows, I don't remember. Somebody was
364 "Not Peck Xenai, by any chance?"
365 "I don't know." He sounded regretful. "I wouldn't want to
367 "Would you know the man anyway?"
368 "Xenai... Peck Xenai... No, I don't knew him; haven't
369 heard of him. What is he to you -- a friend?"
370 "Yes, an old friend. I have some others here, but they are
372 "Well," said Ahmad, "if you should get bored and all kinds
373 of thoughts begin to enter your head, come on over for a visit.
374 Every single day from seven o'clock on I am at the Chez
375 Gourmet. Do you like good eating?"
377 "Stomach in good shape?"
379 "Well, then, why don't you come by? We'll have a fine
380 time, and it won't be necessary to think about a thing."
381 Ahmad braked and turned cautiously into a driveway with an
382 iron gate, which silently swung open before us. The car rolled
384 "We have arrived," announced Ahmad. "Here is your home."
385 The house was two-storied, white with blue trim. The
386 windows were draped on the inside. A clean, deserted patio with
387 multi-colored flagstones was surrounded by a fruit-tree garden,
388 with apple branches touching the walls.
389 "And where is the widow?" I said.
390 "Let's go inside," said Ahmad.
391 He went up the steps, leafing through his notebook I was
392 following him while looking around. I liked the mini-orchard.
393 Ahmad found the right page and set up the combination on the
394 small disc by the doorbell. The door opened. Cool, fresh air
395 flowed out of the house. It was dark inside, but as soon as we
396 stepped into the hall, it lit up with concealed illumination.
397 Putting away his notebook, Ahmad said, "To the right is the
398 landlord's half, to the left is yours. Please come in. Here is
399 the living room, and there is the bar. In a minute we'll have a
400 drink. And now here is your study. Do you have a phonor?"
402 "It's just as well. You have everything you need right
403 here. Come on over here. This is the bedroom. There is the
404 control board for acoustic defense. You know how to use it?"
405 "I'll figure it out."
406 "Good. The defense is triple, you can have it quiet as a
407 tomb or turn the place into a bordello, whatever you like...
408 Here's the air-conditioning control, which, incidentally, is
409 not too convenient, as you can only operate it from the
411 "I'll manage," I said.
412 "What? Well, okay. Here is the bathroom and powder room."
413 "I am interested in the widow," I said, "and the
415 "All in good time. Shall I open the drapes?"
417 "Right you are, for no reason. Let's go have a drink."
418 We returned to the living room and Ahmad disappeared up to
419 his waist in the bar.
420 "You want it on the strong side?" he asked.
421 "You have it backwards."
422 "Would you like an omelette? Sandwiches?"
424 "No," said Ahmad, "an omelette it shall be -- with
425 tomatoes." He rummaged in the bar. "I don't know what does it,
426 but this autocooker makes an altogether astonishingly good
427 omelette with tomatoes. While we are at it, I will also have a
429 He extracted a tray from the bar and placed it on a low
430 table by a semicircular couch. We sat down.
431 "Now about the widow," I reminded him. "I would like to .
433 "You like the rooms?"
435 "Well, the widow is quite all right, too. And the daughter
437 He extracted a flat case from an inside pocket. Like a
438 cartridge clip it was stacked with a row of ampoules filled
439 with colored liquids. Ahmad ran his index finger over them,
440 smelled the omelette, hesitated, and finally selected one with
441 a green fluid, broke it carefully, and dripped a few drops on
442 the tomatoes. An aroma pervaded the room. The smell was not
443 unpleasant, but, to my taste, bore no particular relation to
445 "Right now," continued Ahmad, "they are still asleep." His
446 gaze turned abstracted. "They sleep and see dreams."
447 I looked at my watch.
449 Ahmad was enjoying his food.
450 "Ten-thirty!" I said.
451 Ahmad was enjoying his food. His cap was pushed back on
452 his head, and the green visor stuck up vertically like the
453 crest of an aroused mimicrodon. His eyes were half-closed. I
454 regarded him with interest.
455 Having swallowed the last bit of tomato, he broke off a
456 piece of the crust of white bread and carefully wiped the pan
457 with it. His gaze cleared.
458 "What were you saying?" he asked. "Ten-thirty? Tomorrow
459 you too will get up at ten-thirty or maybe even at twelve. I,
460 for one, will get up at twelve."
461 He got up and stretched luxuriously, cracking his joints.
462 "Well," he said, "it's time to go home, finally. Here's my
463 card, Ivan. Put it in your desk, and don't throw it out until
464 your very last day here." He went over to the flat box and
465 inserted another card into its slot. There was a loud click.
466 "Now this one," he said, examining the card against the
467 light. "Please pass on to the widow with my very best
469 "And then what will happen?" said I.
470 "Money will happen. I trust you are not a devotee of
471 haggling, Ivan? The widow will name a figure, Ivan, and you
472 shouldn't haggle over it. It's not done."
473 "I will try not to haggle," I said, "although it would be
475 Ahmad raised his eyebrows.
476 "Well, if you really want to so much, then why not try it?
477 Always do what you want to do. Then you will have excellent
478 digestion. I will get your suitcase now."
479 "I need prospects," I said. "I need guidebooks. I am a
480 writer, Ahmad. I will require brochures on the economic
481 situation of the masses, statistical references. Where can I
482 get all that? And when?"
483 "I will give you a guidebook," said Ahmad. "It has
484 statistics, addresses, telephone numbers, and so on. As far as
485 the masses are concerned, I don't think we publish any such
486 nonsense. Of course, you can send an inquiry to UNESCO, but
487 what would you want with it? You'll see everything for
488 yourself. Just hold on a minute. I'll get the suitcase and the
490 He went out and quickly returned with my suitcase in one
491 hand and a fat bluish-looking little tome in the other.
493 "Judging by the look on your face," he announced, smiling,
494 "you are debating whether it's proper to tip me or not."
496 "Well then, would you like to do it or not?"
498 "You have a healthy, strong character," Ahmad approved.
499 "Don't do it. Don't tip anybody. You could collect one in the
500 face, especially from the girls. But, on the other hand, don't
501 haggle either. You could walk into one that way too. Anyway,
502 that's all a lot of rot. For all I know you may like to have
503 your face slapped, like that Jonathan Kreis. Farewell, Ivan,
504 have fun, and come to Chez Gourmet. Any evening at seven. But
505 most important of all, don't think about a thing."
506 He waved his hand and left. I picked up the mixture in the
507 dewy glass and sat down with the guidebook.
510 <ul><a name=2></a><h2>Chapter TWO</h2></ul>
512 The guidebook was printed on bond paper with a gilt edge.
513 Interspersed with gorgeous photographs, it contained some
514 curious information. In the city there were fifty thousand
515 people, fifteen hundred cats, twenty thousand pigeons, and two
516 thousand dogs (including seven hundred winners of medals). The
517 city had fifteen thousand passenger cars, five thousand helis,
518 a thousand taxis (with and without chauffeurs), nine hundred
519 automatic garbage collectors, four hundred permanent bars,
520 cafes, and snack bars, eleven restaurants, and four first-class
521 hotels, and was a tourist establishment which served over one
522 hundred thousand visitors every year. The city had sixty
523 thousand TV sets, fifty movie theaters, eight amusement parks,
524 two Happy Mood salons, sixteen beauty parlors, forty libraries,
525 and one hundred and eighty automated barber shops. Eighty
526 percent of the population were engaged in services, and the
527 rest worked in two syntho-bakeries and one government shipyard.
528 There were six schools and one university housed in an old
529 castle once the home of crusader Ulrich da Casa. In the city
530 there were also eight active civilian societies, among them the
531 Society of Diligent Tasters, the Society of Connoisseurs and
532 Appraisers, and the Society for the Good Old Country Against
533 Evil Influences. In addition, fifteen hundred citizens were
534 members of seven hundred and one groups where they sang,
535 learned to act, to arrange furniture, to breast-feed, and to
536 medicate cats. As to per-capita consumption of alcoholic
537 beverages, natural meat, and liquid oxygen, the city was sixth,
538 twelfth, and thirteenth highest in Europe respectively. The
539 city had seven men's clubs and five women's clubs, as well as
540 sport clubs named the Bulls and Rhinos. By a majority of
541 forty-six votes, someone by the name of Flim Gao had been
542 elected mayor. Peck was not among the municipal officials.
543 I put the guidebook aside, took off my jacket, and made a
544 thorough examination of my domain. I approved of the living
545 room. It was done in blue, and I like that color. The bar was
546 full of bottled and refrigerated victuals so that I could at a
547 moment's notice entertain a dozen starving guests.
548 I went into the study. There was a large table in front of
549 the window and a comfortable chair. The walls were lined with
550 shelves tightly filled with collected works. The clean bright
551 bindings were arranged with great skill so that they formed a
552 colorful and appealing layout. The top shelf was occupied by
553 the fifty-volume encyclopedia of UNESCO. Lower shelves were
554 kaleidoscopic with the shiny wrappers of detective novels.
555 As soon as I saw the telephone on the table, I dialed
556 Rimeyer's number, perching on the chair arm. The receiver
557 sounded with prolonged honkings and I waited, twirling a small
558 dictaphone which someone had left on the table. Rimeyer did not
559 answer. I hung up and inspected the dictaphone. The tape was
560 half-used-up, and after rewinding, I punched the playback
562 "Greetings and more greetings," said a merry male voice.
563 "I clasp your hand heartily or kiss you on the cheek, depending
564 on your sex and age. I have lived here two months and bear
565 witness that it was most enjoyable. Allow me a few points of
566 advice. The best institution in town is the Hoity Toity in the
567 Park of Dreams. The best girl in town is Basi in the House of
568 Models. The best guy in town is me, but I have already left. On
569 television just watch Program Nine; everything else is chaff.
570 Don't get involved with Intels, and give the Rhinos a wide
571 berth. Don't buy anything on credit -- there'll be no end to
572 the runaround. The widow is a good woman but loves to talk and
573 in general... As for Vousi, I didn't get to meet her, as she
574 had left the country to visit her grandmother. In my opinion
575 she is sweet, and there was a photograph of her in the widow's
576 album, but I took it. There's more: I expect to come back next
577 March, so be a pal, if you decide to return, pick another time.
579 Music followed abruptly. I listened awhile and turned off
581 There wasn't a single tome I could extract from the
582 shelves, so well were they stuck in, or maybe even glued on,
583 and as there was nothing else of interest in the study, I went
585 Here it was especially cool and cozy. I have always wanted
586 just such a bedroom, but somehow never had the time to get
587 around to setting one up. The bed was big and low. On the night
588 table stood an elegant phonor and a tiny remote-control box for
589 the TV. The screen stood at the foot of the bed, while at the
590 head the widow had hung a very natural-looking picture of field
591 flowers in a crystal vase. The picture was painted with
592 luminous paints and the dewdrops glistened in the darkened
594 I punched the TV control at random and stretched out on
595 the bed. It was soft yet somehow firm. The TV roared loudly. An
596 inebriated-looking man launched himself out of the screen,
597 crashed through some sort of railing, and fell from a great
598 height into a colossal fuming vat. There was a loud splash and
599 the phonor exuded a smell. The man disappeared in the bubbling
600 liquid and then reappeared, holding in his teeth something
601 reminiscent of a well-boiled boot. The unseen audience broke
602 out in a storm of horse laughs. Fade out... soft lyrical music.
603 A white horse pulling a phaeton appeared out of green woods and
604 advanced toward me. A pretty girl in a bathing suit sat in the
605 carriage. I turned off the TV, got up, and went to look at the
607 There was a piny smell and flickering of germicidal lamps.
608 I undressed, threw the underwear into the hopper, and climbed
609 into the shower. Taking my time, I dressed in front of the
610 mirror, combed my hair, and shaved. The shelves were loaded
611 with rows of vials, hygienic devices, antiseptics, and tubes
612 with pastes and greases. At the edge of one shelf there was a
613 pile of flat colorful boxes with the logo "Devon." I switched
614 off the razor and took one of the boxes. A germicidal lamp
615 flickered in the mirror, just as it did that day in Vienna,
616 when I stood just like this studiously regarding just such a
617 little box, because I did not want to go out to the bedroom,
618 where Raffy Reisman loudly argued about something with the
619 doctor; while the green oily liquid still oscillated in the
620 bath, over which hung the steamy vapor and a screeching radio
621 receiver, attached to a porcelain hook for towels, howled,
622 hooted, and snorted until Raffy turned it off in irritation.
623 That was in Vienna, and just as here, it was very strange to
624 see in a bathroom a box of Devon -- a popular repellent which
625 did an excellent job of chasing mosquitoes, chiggers, gnats,
626 and other bloodsucking insects which were long forgotten in
627 Vienna and here in a seaside resort town. Only in Vienna there
628 had been an overlay of fear.
629 The box which I held in my hand was almost empty, with
630 only one tablet remaining. The rest of the boxes were still
631 scaled. I finished shaving and returned to the bedroom. I felt
632 like calling Rimeyer again, but abruptly the house came to
633 life. The pleated drapes flew open with a soft whine, the
634 windowpanes slid away in their frames, and the bedroom was
635 flooded with warm air, laden with the scent of apples. Someone
636 was talking somewhere, light footsteps sounded overhead, and a
637 severe-sounding female voice said, "Vousi -- at least eat some
639 Thereupon I imparted a certain air of disorder to my
640 clothes (in accordance with the current style), smoothed my
641 temples, and went into the hall, taking one of Ahmad's cards
642 from the living room.
643 The widow turned out to be a youthful plump woman,
644 somewhat languid, with a pleasant fresh face.
645 "How nice!" she said, seeing me. "You are up already?
646 Hello, my name is Vaina Tuur, but you can call me Vaina."
647 "My pleasure," I said, shuddering fashionably. "My name is
649 "How nice," said Aunt Vaina. "What an original
650 soft-sounding name! Have you had breakfast, Ivan?"
651 "With your permission, I intended to have breakfast in
652 town," I said, and proffered her the card.
653 "Ah," said Aunt Vaina, looking through the card at the
654 light. "That nice Ahmad, if you only knew what a nice
655 responsible fellow he is. But I see you did not have breakfast.
656 Lunch you can have in town, but now I will treat you to some of
657 my croutons. The major general always said that nowhere else in
658 the world could you have such wonderful croutons."
659 "With pleasure," said I, shuddering for the second time.
660 The door behind Aunt Vaina was flung open and a very
661 pretty young girl in a short blue skirt and an open white
662 blouse flew in on clicking high heels. In her hand she held a
663 piece of cake, which she munched while humming a currently
664 popular song. Seeing me, she stopped, flung her pocketbook on
665 its long strap over her shoulder with a show of abandon, and
666 swallowed, bending down her head.
667 "Vousi!" said Aunt Vaina, compressing her lips. "Vousi,
669 "Not bad!" said Vousi. "Greetings."
670 "Vousi," reproached Aunt Vaina.
671 "You came with your wife?" said Vousi, extending her hand.
672 "No," said I. Her fingers were soft and cool. "I am
674 In that case, I'll show you all there is to see," she
675 said. "Till tonight. I must run now, but we'll go out this
677 "Vousi!" reproached Aunt Vaina.
678 Vousi pushed the rest of the cake into her mouth, bussed
679 her mother on the cheek, and ran toward the door. She had
680 smooth sunburned legs, long and slender, and a close-cropped
682 "Ach, Ivan," said Aunt Vaina, who was also looking at the
683 retreating girl, "in our times it is so difficult to deal with
684 young girls. They develop so early and leave us so soon. Ever
685 since she started working in that salon..."
686 "She is a dressmaker?" I inquired.
687 "Oh no! She works in the Happy Mood Salon, in the old
688 ladies' department. And do you know, they value her highly. But
689 last year she was late once and now she has to be very careful.
690 As you can see she could not even have a decent conversation
691 with you, but it's possible that a client is even now waiting
692 for her. You might not believe this, but she already has a
693 permanent clientele. Anyway, why are we standing here? The
694 croutons will get cold."
695 We entered the landlord's side. I tried with all my might
696 to conduct myself correctly, although I was a bit foggy as to
697 what exactly was correct. Aunt Vaina sat me down at a table,
698 excused herself, and left. I looked around. The room was an
699 exact copy of mine, except that the walls were rose instead of
700 blue, and beyond the window, in place of the sea was a small
701 yard with a low fence dividing it from the street. Aunt Vaina
702 came back with a tray bearing boiled cream and a plate of
704 "You know," she said, "I think I will have some breakfast
705 too. My doctor does not recommend breakfast, especially with
706 boiled cream. But we became so accustomed... it was the
707 general's favorite breakfast. Do you know, I try to have only
708 men boarders. That nice Ahmad understands me very well. He
709 understands how much I need to sit just like this, now and
710 then, just as we are sitting, and have a cup of boiled cream."
711 "Your cream is wonderfully good," said I, not insincerely.
712 "Ach, Ivan." Aunt Vaina put down her cup and fluttered her
713 hands. "But you said that almost exactly like the major
714 general... Strange, you even look like him. Except that his
715 face was a bit narrower and he always had breakfast in his
717 "Yes," I said with regret, "I don't have a uniform."
718 "But there was one once," said she coyly, shaking a finger
719 at me. "Of course! I can see it. It's so senseless! People
720 nowadays have to be ashamed of their military past. Isn't that
721 silly? But they are always betrayed by their bearing, that very
722 special manly carriage. You cannot hide it, Ivan!"
723 I made a very elaborate non-committal gesture, said, "Mm
724 -- yes," and took another crouton.
725 "It's all so out of place, isn't that right?" continued
726 Aunt Vaina with great animation. "How can you confuse such two
727 opposite concepts -- war and the army? We all detest war. War
728 is awful. My mother described it to me, she was only a girl,
729 but she remembers everything. Suddenly, without warning, there
730 they are -- the soldiers, crude, alien, speaking a foreign
731 tongue, belching; and the officers, without any manners,
732 laughing loudly, annoying the chambermaids, and smelling --
733 forgive me; and that senseless commander's meeting hour... that
734 is war and it deserves every condemnation! But the army! That's
735 an altogether different affair! Surely you remember, Ivan, the
736 troops lined up by battalion, the perfection of the line, the
737 manliness of the faces under the helmets, shiny arms, sparkling
738 decorations, and then the commanding officer riding in a
739 special staff car and addressing the battalions, which respond
740 willingly and briefly like one man."
741 "No doubt," said I, "this has impressed many people."
742 "Yes! Very much indeed. We have always said that it is
743 necessary to disarm, but did we really need to destroy the
744 army? It is the last refuge of manhood in our time of
745 widespread moral collapse. It's weird and ridiculous -- a
746 government without an army...."
747 "It is funny," I agreed. "You may not believe it, but I
748 have been smiling ever since they signed the Pact."
749 "Yes, I can understand that," said Aunt Vaina. "There was
750 nothing else for us to do, but to smile sarcastically. The
751 Major General Tuur" -- she extricated a handkerchief -- "passed
752 away with just such a sarcastic smile on his face." She applied
753 the handkerchief to her eyes. "He said to us: 'My friends, I
754 still hope to live to the day when everything will fall apart.'
755 A broken man, who has lost the meaning of life... he could not
756 stand the emptiness in his heart." Suddenly she perked up.
757 "Here, let me show you, Ivan."
758 She bustled into the next room and returned with a heavy
759 old-fashioned photo album.
760 I looked at my watch at once, but Aunt Vaina did not take
761 any notice, and sitting herself down at my side, opened the
762 album at the very first page.
763 "Here is the major general."
764 The major general looked quite the eagle. He had a narrow
765 bony face and translucent eyes. His long body was spangled with
766 medals. The biggest, a multi-pointed starburst framed in a
767 laurel wreath, sparkled in the region of the appendix. In his
768 left hand the general tightly pressed a pair of gloves, and his
769 right hand rested on the hilt of a ceremonial poniard. A high
770 collar with gold embroidery propped up his lower jaw.
771 "And here is the major general on maneuvers."
772 Here again the general looked the eagle. He was issuing
773 instructions to his officers, who were bent over a map spread
774 on the frontal armor of a gigantic tank. By the shape of the
775 treads and the streamlined appearance of the turret, I
776 recognized it as one of the Mammoth heavy storm vehicles, which
777 were designed for pushing through nuclear strike zones and now
778 are successfully employed by deep-sea exploration teams.
779 "And here is the general on his fiftieth birthday."
780 Here too, the general looked the eagle. He stood by a
781 well-set table with a wineglass in his hand, listening to a
782 toast in his honor. The lower left corner was occupied by a
783 halo of light from a shiny pate; and to his side, gazing up at
784 him with admiration, sat a very young and very pretty Aunt
785 Vaina. I tried surreptitiously to gauge the thickness of the
787 "Ah, here is the general on vacation."
788 Even on vacation, the general remained an eagle. With his
789 feet planted well apart, he stood an the beach sporting
790 tiger-stripe trunks, as he scanned the misty horizon through a
791 pair of binoculars. At his feet a child of three or four was
792 digging in the sand. The general was wiry and muscular.
793 Croutons and cream did not spoil his figure. I started to wind
795 "And here..." began Aunt Vaina, turning the page, but at
796 this point, a short portly man entered the room without
797 knocking. His face and in particular his dress seemed strangely
799 "Good morning," he enunciated, bending his smooth smiling
800 face slightly sideways.
801 It was my erstwhile customs man, still in the same white
802 uniform with the silver buttons and the silver braid on the
804 "Ah! Pete!" said Aunt Vaina. "Here you are already.
805 Please, let me introduce you. Ivan, this is Pete, a friend of
807 The customs man turned toward me without recognition,
808 briefly inclined his head, and clicked his heels. Aunt Vaina
809 laid the album in my lap and got up.
810 "Have a seat, Pete," she said. "I will bring some cream."
811 Pete clicked his heels once more and sat down by me.
812 "This should interest you," I said, transferring the album
813 to his lap. "Here is Major General Tuur. In mufti." A strange
814 expression appeared on the face of the customs man. "And here
815 is the major general on maneuvers. You see? And here --"
816 "Thank you," said the customs man raggedly. "Don't exert
817 yourself, because --"
818 Aunt Vaina returned with cream and croutons. From as far
819 back as the doorway, she said, "How nice to see a man in
820 uniform! Isn't that right, Ivan?"
821 The cream for Pete was in a special cup with the monogram
822 "T" surrounded by four stars.
823 "It rained last night, so it must have been cloudy. I
824 know, because I woke up, and now there is not a cloud in the
825 sky. Another cup, Ivan?"
827 'Thank you, I'm quite full. If you'll excuse me, I must
828 take my leave. I have a business appointment,"
829 Carefully closing the door behind me, I heard the widow
830 say, "Don't you find an extraordinary resemblance between him
831 and Staff Major Polom?"
832 In the bedroom, I unpacked the suitcase and transferred
833 the clothing to the wall closet, and again rang Rimeyer. Again
834 no one answered. So I sat down at the desk and set to exploring
835 the drawers. One contained a portable typewriter, another a set
836 of writing paper and an empty bottle of grease for arrhythmic
837 motors. The rest was empty, if you didn't count bundles of
838 crumpled receipts, a broken fountain pen, and a carelessly
839 folded sheet of paper, decorated with doodled faces. I unfolded
840 the sheet. Apparently it was the draft of a telegram.
841 "Green died while with the Fishers receive body Sunday
842 with condolences Hugger Martha boys." I read the writing twice,
843 turned the sheet over and studied the faces, and read for the
844 third time. Obviously Hugger and Martha were not informed that
845 normal people notifying of death first of all tell how and why
846 a person died and not whom he was with when he died. I would
847 have written, "Green drowned while fishing." Probably in a
848 drunken stupor. By the way, what address did I have now?
849 I returned to the hall. A small boy in short pants
850 squatted in the doorway to the landlord's half. Clamping a long
851 silvery tube under an armpit, he was panting and wheezing and
852 hurriedly unwinding a tangle of string. I went up to him and
854 My reflexes are not what they used to be, but still I
855 managed to duck a long black stream which whizzed by my ear and
856 splashed against the wall. I regarded the boy with astonishment
857 while he stared at me, lying on his side and holding the tube
858 in front of him. His face was damp and his mouth twisted and
859 open. I turned to look at the wall. The stuff was oozing down.
860 I looked at the boy again. He was getting up slowly, without
862 "Well, well, brother, you are nervous!" said I.
863 "Stand where you are," said the boy in a hoarse voice." I
864 did not say your name."
865 "To say the least," said I. "You did not even mention
866 yours, and you fire at me like I was a dummy."
867 "Stand where you are," repeated the boy, "and don't move."
868 He backed and suddenly blurted in rapid fire, "Hence from my
869 hair, hence from my bones, hence from my flesh."
870 "I cannot," I said. I was still trying to understand
871 whether he was playing or was really afraid of me.
872 "Why not?" said the boy. "I am saying everything right."
873 "I can't go without moving," I said. "I am standing where
875 His mouth fell open again.
876 "Hugger: I say to you -- Hugger -- begone!" he said
878 "Why Hugger?" I said. "My name is Ivan; you confuse me
880 The boy closed his eyes and advanced upon me, holding the
881 tube in front of him.
882 "I surrender," I warned. "Be careful not to fire."
883 When the tube dented my midriff he stopped and, dropping
884 it, suddenly went limp, letting his hands fall. I bent over and
885 looked him in the face. Now he was brick-red. I picked up the
886 tube. It was something like a toy rifle, with a convenient
887 checkered grip and a flat rectangular flask which was inserted
888 from below, like a clip.
889 "What kind of gadget is this?" I asked.
890 "A splotcher," he said gloomily. "Give it back."
891 I gave him back the toy.
892 "A splotcher," I said, "with which you splotch. And what
893 if you had hit me?" I looked at the wall. "Fine thing. Now you
894 won't get it off inside of a year. You'll have to get the wall
896 The boy looked up at me suspiciously. "But it's Splotchy,"
898 "Really -- and I thought it was lemonade."
899 His face finally acquired a normal hue and demonstrated an
900 obvious resemblance to the manly features of Major General
902 "No, no, it's Splotchy."
905 "And then it's really hopeless?"
906 "Of course not. There will simply be nothing left."
907 "Hmm," said I, with reservation. "However, you know best.
908 Let us hope so. But I am still glad that there will be nothing
909 left on the wall instead of on my face. What's your name?"
911 "And after you give it some thought?"
912 He gave me a long look.
916 "Lucifer," said I. "Belial, Ahriman, Beelzebub, and
917 Azrael. How about something a little shorter? It's very
918 inconvenient to call for help to someone with a name like
920 "But the doors are closed," he said and backed one step.
921 His face paled again.
923 He did not respond but continued to back until he reached
924 the wall and began to sidle along it without taking his eyes
925 off me. It finally dawned on me that he took me for a murderer
926 or a thief and. that he wanted to escape. But for some reason
927 he did not call for help and went by his mother's door,
928 continuing toward the house exit.
929 "Siegfried," said I, "Siegfried, Lucifer, you are a
930 terrible coward. Who do you think I am?" I didn't move but only
931 Turned to keep facing him. "I am your new boarder; your mother
932 has just fed me croutons and cream and you go and fire at me
933 and almost splotched me, and now you are afraid of me. It is I
934 who should be afraid of you."
935 All this was very much reminiscent of a scene in the
936 boarding school in Anyudinsk, when they brought me a boy just
937 like this one, the son of a sect member. Hell's bells, do I
938 really look so much the gangster?
939 "You remind me of Chuchundra the Muskrat," I said, "who
940 spent his life crying because he could not come out into the
941 middle of the room. Your nose is blue from fear, your ears are
942 freezing, and your pants are wet so that you are trailing a
944 In such cases it makes absolutely no difference what is
945 said. It is important to speak calmly and not to make sudden
946 movements. The expression on his face did not change, but when
947 I spoke about the stream, he moved his eyes momentarily to take
948 a look. But only for a second. Then he jumped toward the door,
949 fluttering for a second at the latch, and flew outside, dirty
950 bottoms of his sandals flying. I went out after him.
951 He stood in the lilac bush, so that all I could see was
952 his pale face. Like a fleeing cat looking momentarily over its
954 "Okay, okay," said I. "Would you please explain to me what
955 I must do? I have to send home my new address. The address of
956 this house where I am now living." He regarded me in silence.
957 "I don't feel right going to your mother -- in the first place,
958 she has guests, and in the second--"
959 "Seventy-eight, Second Waterway," he said.
960 Slowly I sat down on the steps. There was a distance of
961 some ten meters between us.
962 'That's quite a voice you have," I said confidentially.
963 "Just like my friend the barman's at Mirza-Charles."
964 "When did you arrive?" said he.
965 "Well, let's see." I looked at my watch, "About an hour
967 "Before you there was another one," he said, looking
968 sideways. "He was a rat-fink. He gave me striped swimming
969 trunks, and when I went in the water, they melted away."
970 "Ouch!" I said. "That is really a monster of some sort and
971 not a human -- he should have been drowned in Splotchy."
972 "Didn't have time -- I was going to, but he went away."
973 "Was it that same Hugger with Martha and the boys?"
974 "No -- where did you get that idea? Hugger came later."
976 He didn't answer. I leaned back against the wall and
977 contemplated the street. A car jerkily backed out of the
978 opposite driveway, back and forthed, and roared off.
979 Immediately it was followed by another just such a car. There
980 was the pungent smell of gasoline. Then cars followed one after
981 another, until my eyes blurred. Several helis appeared in the
982 sky. They were the so-called silent helis, but they flew
983 relatively low, and while they flew, it was difficult to talk.
984 In any case, the boy was apparently not going to talk. But he
985 wasn't going to leave, either. He was doing something with his
986 splotcher in the bushes and was glancing at me now and then. I
987 was hoping he wasn't going to splotch me again. The helis kept
988 going and going, and the cars kept swishing and swishing, as
989 though all the fifteen thousand cars were speeding by on Second
990 Waterway, and all the five hundred helis were hung over Number
991 78. The whole thing lasted about ten minutes, and the boy
992 seemed to cease paying attention to me while I sat and wondered
993 what questions I should ask of Rimeyer. Then everything
994 returned to its previous state, the smell of exhaust was gone,
996 "Where are they all going -- all at once?" I asked.
999 "I don't know either, but somehow you knew about Hugger."
1000 "About Hugger," I said. "I know about Hugger quite
1001 accidentally. And about you I know nothing at all... how you
1002 live and what you do. For instance, what are you doing now?"
1003 "The safeguard is broken."
1004 "Well then, give it to me, I'll fix it. Why are you afraid
1005 of me? Do I look like a rat-fink?"
1006 "They all drove off to work," he said.
1007 "You sure go to work late. It's practically dinnertime
1008 already. Do you know the Hotel Olympic?"
1010 "Would you walk me there?"
1014 "School is about to end -- I must be going home."
1015 "Aha! So that's the way of it," said I. "You are playing
1016 hookey, or ditching it, as we used to say. What grade are you
1019 "I used to be in third grade, too," I said.
1020 He came a bit out of the bushes.
1022 "Then I was in the fourth." I got up. "Well, okay. Talk
1023 you won't, go for a walk you won't, and your pants are wet, so
1024 I am going back in. You won't even tell me your name."
1025 He looked at me in silence and breathed heavily through
1026 his mouth. I went back to my quarters. The cream-colored hall
1027 was irreparably disfigured, it seemed to me. The huge black
1028 clot was not drying. Somebody is going to get it today, I
1029 thought. A ball of string was underfoot. I picked it up. The
1030 end of the string was tied to the landlady's half-doorknob. So,
1031 I thought, this too is clear. I untied the string and put the
1033 In the study, I got a clean sheet of paper from the desk
1034 and composed a telegram to Matia. "Arrived safely, 78 Second
1035 Waterway. Kisses. Ivan." I telephoned it to the local PT&T and
1036 again dialed Rimeyer's number. Again there was no answer. I put
1037 on my jacket, looked in the mirror, counted my money, and was
1038 about to set out when I saw that the door to the living room
1039 was open and an eye was visible through the crack. Naturally, I
1040 gave no sign. I carefully completed the inspection of my
1041 clothing, returned to the bathroom, and vacuumed myself for a
1042 while, whistling away merrily. When I returned to the study,
1043 the mouse-eared head sticking through the half-open door
1044 immediately vanished. Only the silvery tube of the splotcher
1045 continued to protrude. Sitting down in the chair, I opened and
1046 closed all the twelve drawers, including the secret one, and
1047 only then looked at the door. The boy stood framed in it.
1048 "My name is Len," he announced.
1049 "Greetings, Len," I said absent-mindedly. "I am called
1050 Ivan. Come on in -- although I was going out to have dinner.
1051 You haven't had dinner yet?"
1053 "That's good. Go ask your mother's permission and we'll be
1055 "It's too early," he said.
1056 "What's too early? To have dinner?"
1057 "No, to go. School doesn't end for another twenty
1058 minutes." He was silent again. "Besides, there's that fat fink
1060 "He's a bad one?' I asked.
1061 "Yeah," said Len. "Are you really leaving now?"
1062 "Yes, I am," I said, and took the ball of string from my
1063 pocket. "Here, take it. And what if Mother comes out first?"
1065 "If you are really leaving," he said, "would it be all
1066 right if I stayed in your place?"
1068 "There's nobody else here?"
1070 He still didn't come to me to take the string, but let me
1071 come to him, and even allowed me to take his ear. It was indeed
1072 cold. I ruffled his head lightly and pushed him toward the
1074 "Go sit all you want. I won't be back soon."
1075 "I'll take a snooze," said Len.
1077 <ul><a name=3></a><h2>Chapter THREE</h2></ul>
1079 The Hotel Olympic was a fifteen-story red-and-black
1080 structure. Half the plaza in front of it was covered with cars,
1081 and in its center stood a monument surrounded by a small
1082 flowerbed. It represented a man with a proudly raised head.
1083 Detouring the monument, I suddenly realized that I knew the
1084 man. In puzzlement I stopped and examined it more thoroughly.
1085 There was no doubt about it. There in front of Hotel Olympic,
1086 in a funny old-fashioned suit with his hand resting on an
1087 incomprehensible apparatus which I almost took for the
1088 extension of the abstract-styled base, and with his eyes
1089 staring at infinity through contemptuously squinting lids, was
1090 none other than Vladimir Sergeyevitch Yurkovsky. Carved in gold
1091 letters on the base was the legend "Vladimir Yurkovsky,
1092 December 5, Year of the Scales."
1093 I couldn't believe it, because they do not raise monuments
1094 to Yurkovskys. While they live, they are appointed to more or
1095 less responsible positions, they are honored at jubilees, they
1096 are elected to membership in academies. They are rewarded with
1097 medals and are honored with international prizes, and when they
1098 die or perish; they are the subjects of books, quotations,
1099 references, but always less and less often as time passes, and
1100 finally they are forgotten altogether. They depart the halls of
1101 memory and linger on only in books. Vladimir Sergeyevitch was a
1102 general of the sciences and a remarkable man. But it is not
1103 possible to erect monuments to all generals and all remarkable
1104 men, especially in countries to which they had no direct
1105 relationship and in cities where if they did visit, it was only
1106 temporarily. In any case, in that Year of the Scales, which is
1107 of significance only to them, he was not even a general. In
1108 March he was, jointly with Dauge, completing the investigation
1109 of the Amorphous Spot on Uranus. That was when the sounding
1110 probe blew up and we all got a dose in the work section -- and
1111 when we got back to the Planet in September, he was all spotted
1112 with lilac blotches, mad at the world, promising himself that
1113 he would take time out to swim and get sunburned and then get
1114 right back to the design of a new probe because the old one was
1115 trash.... I looked at the hotel again to reassure myself. The
1116 only out was to assume that the life of the town was in some
1117 mysterious and potent manner highly dependent on the Amorphous
1118 Spot on Uranus. Yurkovsky continued to smile with snobbish
1119 superiority. Generally, the sculpture was quite good, but I
1120 could not figure out what it was he was leaning on. The
1121 apparatus didn't look like the probe.
1122 Something hissed by my ear. I turned and involuntarily
1123 sprang back. Beside me, staring dully at the monument base, was
1124 a tall gaunt individual closely encased from head to foot in
1125 some sort of gray scaly material and with a bulky cubical
1126 helmet around his head. The face was obscured behind a glass
1127 plate with holes, from which smoke issued in synchronism with
1128 his breathing. The wasted visage behind the plate was covered
1129 with perspiration and the cheeks twitched in frantic tempo. At
1130 first I took him for a Wanderer, then I thought that he was a
1131 tourist executing a curative routine, and only finally did I
1132 realize that I was looking at an Arter.
1133 "Excuse me," I said "Could you please tell me what sort of
1135 The damp face contorted more desperately. "What?" came the
1136 dull response from inside the helmet.
1138 "I am inquiring: what is this monument?"
1139 The man glared at the statue. The smoke came thicker out
1140 of the holes. There was more powerful hissing.
1141 "Vladimir Yurkovsky," he read, "Fifth of December, Year of
1142 the Scales... aha... December... so -- it must be some German."
1143 "And who put up the monument?"
1144 "I don't know," said the man. "But it's written down right
1145 there. What's it to you?"
1146 "I was an acquaintance of his," I explained.
1147 "Well then, why do you ask? Ask the man himself."
1149 "Aah... Maybe they buried him here?"
1150 "No," I said, "he is buried far away."
1152 "Far away. What's that thing he is holding?"
1153 "What thing? It's an eroula."
1155 "I said, an eroula. An electronic roulette."-
1157 "What's a roulette doing here?"
1159 "Here, on the statue."
1160 "I don't know," said the man after some thought. "Maybe
1161 your friend invented it?"
1162 "Hardly," said I. "He worked in a different field."
1164 "He was a planetologist and an interplanetary pilot."
1165 "Aah... well, if he invented it, that was bully for him.
1166 It's a useful thing. I should remember it: Yurkovsky, Vladimir.
1167 He must have been a brainy German."
1168 "I doubt he invented it," I said. "I repeat -- he was an
1169 interplanetary pilot."
1170 The man stared at me.
1171 "Well, if he didn't invent it, then why is he standing
1173 "That's the point," I said. "I am amazed myself."
1174 "You are a damn liar," said the man suddenly. "You lie and
1175 you don't even know why you are lying. It's early morning, and
1176 he is stoned already.... Alcoholic!"
1177 He turned away and shuffled off, dragging his thin legs
1178 and hissing loudly. I shrugged my shoulders, took a last look
1179 at Vladimir Sergeyevitch, and set off toward the hotel, across
1181 The gigantic doorman swung the door open for me and
1182 sounded an energetic welcome.
1184 "Would you be so kind," said I. "Do you know what that
1186 The doorman looked toward the plaza over my head. His face
1187 registered confusion.
1188 "Isn't that written on it?"
1189 "There is a legend," I said. "But who put it up and why?"
1190 The doorman shuffled his feet.
1191 "I beg your pardon," he said guiltily, "I just can't
1193 your question. The monument has been there a long time,
1194 while I came here very recently. I don't wish to misinform you.
1195 Maybe the porter..."
1197 "Well, don't worry about it. Where is a telephone?"
1198 "To your right, if you please," he said looking delighted.
1199 A porter started out in my direction, but I shook my head
1200 and picked up the receiver and dialed Rimeyer's number. This
1201 time I got a busy signal. I went to the elevator and up to the
1203 Rimeyer, looking untypically fleshy, met me in a dressing
1204 gown, out of which stuck legs in pants and with shoes on. The
1205 room stank of cigarette smoke and the ashtray was full of
1206 butts. There was a general air of chaos in the whole suite. One
1207 of the armchairs was knocked over, a woman's slip was lying
1208 crumpled on the couch, and a whole battery of empty bottles
1209 glinted under the table.
1210 "What can I do for you?" asked Rimeyer with a touch of
1211 hostility, looking at my chin. Apparently he was recently out
1212 of his bathroom, and his sparse colorless hair was wet against
1213 his long skull. I handed him my card in silence. Rimeyer read
1214 it slowly and attentively, shoved it in his pocket, and
1215 continuing to look at my chin, said, "Sit down."
1217 "It is most unfortunate. I am devilishly busy and don't
1218 have a minute's time."
1219 "I called you several times today," said I.
1220 "I just got back. What's your name?"
1222 "And your last name?"
1224 "You see, Zhilin, to make it short, I have to get dressed
1225 and leave again." He was silent awhile, rubbing his flabby
1226 cheeks. "Anyway there's not much to talk about.... However, if
1227 you wish, you can sit here and wait for me. If I don't return
1228 in an hour, come back tomorrow at twelve. And leave your
1229 telephone number and address, write it down right on the table
1231 He threw off the bathrobe, and dragging it along, walked
1232 off into the adjoining room.
1233 "In the meantime," he continued, "you can see the town,
1234 and a miserable little town it is.... But you'll have to do it
1235 in any case. As for me, I am sick to my stomach of it."
1236 He returned adjusting his tie. His hands were trembling,
1237 and the skin on his face looked gray and wilted. Suddenly I
1238 felt that I did not trust him -- the sight of him was
1239 repellent, like that of a neglected sick man.
1240 "You look poorly," I said. "You have changed a great
1242 For the first time he looked me in the eyes.
1243 "And how would you know what I was like before?"
1244 "I saw you at Matia's. You smoke a lot, Rimeyer, and
1245 tobacco is saturated regularly with all kinds of trash
1247 "Tobacco -- that's a lot of nonsense," he said with sudden
1248 irritation. "Here everything is saturated with all kinds of
1249 tripe.... But perhaps you may be right, probably I should
1250 quit." He pulled on his jacket slowly; "Time to quit, and in
1251 any case, I shouldn't have started."
1252 "How is the work coming along?"
1253 "It could be worse. And unusually absorbing work it is."
1254 He smiled in a peculiar unpleasant way. "I am going now, as
1255 they are waiting for me and I am late. So, till an hour from
1256 now, or until tomorrow at twelve."
1257 He nodded to me and left.
1258 I wrote my address and telephone number on the table, and
1259 as my foot plowed into the mass of bottles underneath, I
1260 couldn't help but think that the work was indeed absorbing. I
1261 called room service and requested a chambermaid to clean up the
1262 room. The most polite of voices replied that the occupant of
1263 the suite categorically forbade service personnel to enter his
1264 room during his absence and had repeated the prohibition just
1265 now on leaving the hotel. "Aha," I said, and hung up. This
1266 didn't sit well with me. For myself, I never issue such
1267 directions and have never hidden even my notebooks, not from
1268 anyone. It's stupid to work at deception and much better to
1269 drink less. I picked up the overturned armchair, sat down, and
1270 prepared for a long wait, trying to overcome a sense of
1271 displeasure and disappointment.
1272 I didn't have to wait for long. After some ten minutes,
1273 the door opened a crack and a pretty face protruded into the
1275 "Hey there," it pronounced huskily. "Is Rimeyer in?"
1276 "Rimeyer is not in, but you can come in anyway."
1277 She hesitated, examining me. Apparently she had no
1278 intention of coming in, but was just saying hello, in passing.
1279 "Come in, come in," said I. "I have nothing to do."
1280 She entered with a light dancing gait, and putting her
1281 arms akimbo, stood in front of me. She had a short turned-up
1282 nose and a disheveled boyish hairdo. The hair was red, the
1283 shorts crimson, and the blouse a bright yolk yellow. A colorful
1284 woman and quite attractive. She must have been about
1286 "You wait -- right?"
1287 Her eyes were unnaturally bright and she smelled of wine,
1288 tobacco, and perfume.
1289 She collapsed on the hassock and flung her legs up on the
1291 "Throw a cigarette to a working girl," she said. "It's
1292 five hours since I had one."
1293 "I don't smoke. Shall I ring for some?"
1294 "Good Lord, another sad sack! Never mind the phone .. or
1295 that dame will show up again. Rummage around in the ashtray and
1296 find me a good long butt."
1297 The ashtray did have a lot of long butts.
1298 'They all have lipstick on them," said I.
1299 "That's all right; it's my lipstick. What's your name?"
1301 She snapped a lighter and lit up.
1302 "And mine is Ilina. Are you a foreigner, too? All you
1303 foreigners seem so wide. What are you doing here?"'
1304 "Waiting for Rimeyer."
1305 "I don't mean that! What brought you here, are you
1306 escaping from your wife?"
1307 "I am not married," I said quietly. "I came to write a
1309 "A book? Some friends this Rimeyer has. He came to write a
1310 book. <i>Sex Problems of Impotent Sportsmen</i>. How's your
1311 situation with the sex problem?"
1312 "It is not a problem to me," I said mildly. "And how about
1314 She lowered her legs from the table.
1315 "That's a no-no. Take it slow. This isn't Paris, you know.
1316 All in good time. Anyway, you should have your locks cut --
1317 sitting there like a perch."
1318 "Like a who?" I was very patient as I had another
1319 forty-five minutes to wait.
1320 "Like a perch. You know the type." She made vague motions
1322 "I don't know about that," I said. "I don't know anything
1323 yet as I have just arrived. Tell me about it, it sounds
1325 "Oh no! Not I! We don't chatter. Our bit is a small one --
1326 serve, clean up, flash your teeth, and keep quiet. Professional
1327 secret. Have you heard of such an animal?"
1328 "I've heard," I said. "But who's 'we' -- an association of
1330 For some reason, she thought this was hilarious.
1331 "Doctors! Imagine that." She laughed. "Well, wise guy,
1332 you're all right -- quite a tongue. We have one in the once
1333 like you. One word, and we're all rolling in the aisles.
1334 Whenever we cater to the Fishers, he always gets the job, they
1336 "Who doesn't?" said I.
1337 "Well, you are wrong. The Intels, for instance, chased him
1338 out. 'Take the fool away,' they said. Or also recently those
1341 "The sad ones. Well, I can see you don't understand a
1342 thing. Where in heaven's name did you come from?"
1344 "So -- don't you have the sad ones in Vienna?"
1345 "You couldn't imagine what we don't have in Vienna."
1346 "Could be you don't even have irregular meetings?"
1347 "No, we don't have them. All our meetings are regular,
1348 like a bus schedule."
1349 She was having a good time.
1350 "Perhaps you don't have waitresses either?"
1351 "Waitresses we do have, and you can find some excellent
1352 examples. Are you a waitress then?"
1353 She jumped up abruptly.
1354 "That won't do at all," she cried. "I've had enough sad
1355 ones for today. Now you're going to have a loving cup with me
1356 like a good fellow...." She began to search furiously among the
1357 bottles by the window. "Damn him, they're all empty! Could be
1358 you're a teetotaler? Aha, here's a little vermouth. You drink
1359 that, or shall we order whiskey?"
1360 "Let's begin with the vermouth," said I.
1361 She banged the bottle on the table and took two glasses
1362 from the window sill.
1363 "Have to wash them. Hold on a minute, everything's full of
1364 garbage." She went into the bathroom and continued to speak
1365 from there. "If you turned out to be a teetotaler on top of
1366 everything else. I don't know what I would do with you.... What
1367 a pigsty he's got in his bathroom -- I love it! Where are you
1369 "No, in town," I replied. "On Second Waterway."
1370 She came back with the glasses.
1371 "Straight or with water?"
1372 "Straight, I guess."
1373 "All foreigners take it straight. But we have it with
1374 water for some reason." She sat on my armchair and put her arms
1375 around my shoulders. We drank and kissed without any feeling.
1376 Her lips were heavily lipsticked, and her eyelids were heavy
1377 from lack of sleep and fatigue. She put down her glass,
1378 searched out another butt in the ashtray, and returned to the
1380 "Where is that Rimeyer?" she said. "After all, how long
1381 can you wait for him? Have you known him a long time?"
1383 "I think maybe he is a louse," she said with sudden ire.
1384 "He's dug everything out of me, and now he plays hard to get.
1385 He doesn't open his door, the animal, and you can't get through
1386 to him by phone. Say, he wouldn't be a spy, would he?"
1387 "What do you mean, a spy?"
1388 "Oh, there's loads of them.... From the Association for
1389 Sobriety and Morality.... The Connoisseurs and Appraisers are
1391 "No, Rimeyer is a decent sort," I said with some effort.
1392 "Decent... you are all decent. In the beginning, Rimeyer
1393 too was decent, so good-natured and full of fun... and now he
1394 looks at you like a croc."
1395 "Poor fellow," I said. "He must have remembered his family
1396 and become ashamed of himself."
1397 "He doesn't have a family. Anyway, the heck with him! Have
1399 We had another drink. She lay down and put her hands over
1400 her head. Finally she spoke.
1401 "Don't let it get to you. Spit on it! Wine we have enough
1402 of, we'll dance, go to the shivers. Tomorrow there's a football
1403 game, we'll bet on the Bulls."
1404 "I am not letting it get to me. If you want to bet on the
1405 Bulls, we'd bet on the Bulls."
1406 "Oh those Bulls! They are some boys! I could watch them
1407 forever, arms like iron, snuggling up against them is just like
1408 snuggling against a tree trunk, really!"
1409 There was a knock on the door.
1410 "Come in!" yelled Ilina.
1411 A man entered and stopped at once. He was tall and bony,
1412 of middle age, with a brush mustache and light protruding eyes.
1413 "I beg your pardon, I was looking for Rimeyer," he said.
1414 "Everyone here wants to see Rimeyer," said Ilina. "Have a
1415 chair and we'll all wait together."
1416 The stranger bowed his head and sat down by the table,
1418 Apparently he had been here before. He did not look
1419 around, but stared at the wall directly in front of him.
1420 However, perhaps he just was not a curious type. In any case,
1421 it was clear that neither I nor Ilina was of any interest to
1422 him. This seemed unnatural to me, since I felt that such a pair
1423 as myself and Ilina should arouse interest in any normal
1424 person. Ilina raised up on her elbow and scrutinized him in
1426 "I have seen you somewhere," she said.
1427 "Really?" said the stranger coldly.
1429 "Oscar. I am Rimeyer's friend."
1430 "That's fine," said Ilina. She was obviously irritated by
1431 the stranger's indifference, but she kept herself in check.
1432 "He's also a friend of Rimeyer." She stuck her finger at me.
1433 "You know each other?"
1434 "No," said. Oscar, continuing to look at the wall.
1435 "My name is Ivan," said I. "And this is Rimeyer's friend,
1436 Ilina. We just drank to our fraternal friendship."
1437 Oscar glanced indifferently in Ilina's direction and
1438 nodded his head politely. Ilina picked up the bottle without
1439 taking her eyes off him.
1440 "There's still a little left here," she said. "Would you
1441 like a drink, Oscar?"
1442 "No, thank you," he said, coldly.
1443 "To fraternal friendship!" said Ilina. "No? You don't want
1445 She splashed some wine in my glass, poured the rest in
1446 hers, and downed it at once.
1447 "Never in my life would I have thought that Rimeyer could
1448 have friends who refuse a drink. Still, I have seen you
1450 Oscar shrugged his shoulders.
1451 "I doubt it," he said.
1452 Ilina was visibly becoming enraged.
1453 "Some sort of a fink," she said to me loudly. "Say there,
1454 Oscar, you wouldn't be an Intel?"
1456 "What do you mean, no?" said Ilina. "You're the one who
1457 had a set-to with that baldy Leiz at the Weasel, broke a
1458 mirror, and had your face slapped by Mody."
1459 The stone visage of Oscar grew a shade pinker.
1460 "I assure you," he said courteously, "I am not an Intel
1461 and have never in my life been in the Weasel."
1462 "Are you saying that I'm a liar?" said Ilina
1463 At this point I took the bottle off the table and put it
1464 under my armchair, just in case.
1465 "I am a visitor," said Oscar. "A tourist."
1466 "When did you arrive?" I said to discharge the tension.
1467 "Very recently," replied Oscar. He continued to gaze at
1468 the wall. Obviously here was a man with iron discipline.
1469 "Oh, oh!" said Ilina suddenly. "Now I remember! I got it
1471 She burst out laughing, "Of course you're no Intel! You
1472 were at our office the day before last. You're the salesman who
1473 offered our manager some junk like... 'Dugong' or 'Dupont..."
1474 "Devon," I prompted. "There is a repellent called Devon."
1475 Oscar smiled for the first time.
1476 "You are quite right, of course," he said. "But I am not a
1477 salesman. I was only doing a favor for a relative."
1478 "That's different," said Ilina and jumped up. "You should
1479 have said so. Ivan, we all need to drink to a pledge of
1480 friendship. I'll call... no, I'll go get it myself. You two can
1481 have a talk, I'll be right back."
1482 She ran out of the room, banging the door.
1483 "A fun girl," said I.
1484 "Yes, extremely. You live here?"
1485 "No, I'm a traveler, too.... What a strange idea your
1487 "What do you have in mind?"
1488 "Who needs Devon in a resort town?"
1490 "It's hard for me to judge; I'm no chemist. But you will
1491 agree that it's hard for us to comprehend the actions of our
1492 fellow men, much less their fancies.... So Devon turns out to
1493 be - What did you call it, a res...?"
1494 "Repellent," I said.
1495 "That would be for mosquitoes?"
1496 "Not so much for as against."
1497 "I can see you are quite well up on it," said Oscar.
1498 "I had occasion to use it."
1500 What the devil, thought I. What is he getting at? He was
1501 no longer staring at the wall He was looking me straight in the
1502 eyes and smiling. But if he was going to say something, it was
1505 "I don't think I'll wait any longer," he pronounced. "It
1506 looks like I'll have to drink another pledge. But I didn't come
1507 here to drink, I came here to get well. Please tell Rimeyer
1508 that I will call him again tonight. You won't forget?"
1509 "No," I said, "I won't forget. If I tell him that Oscar
1510 was in to see him, he will know whom I am talking about?"
1511 "Yes, of course. It's my real name."
1512 He bowed, and walked out at a deliberate pace,
1513 ramrod-straight and somehow unnatural-looking. I dipped my hand
1514 in the ashtray, found a butt without lipstick, and inhaled
1515 several times. I didn't like the taste and put out the stub. I
1516 didn't like Oscar, either. Nor Ilina. And especially Rimeyer --
1517 I didn't like him at all. I pawed through the bottles, but they
1520 <ul><a name=4></a><h2>Chapter FOUR</h2></ul>
1522 In the end I didn't wait long enough to see Rimeyer. Ilina
1523 never came back. Finally I got tired of sitting in the smoky,
1524 stale atmosphere of the room and went down to the lobby. I
1525 intended to have dinner and stopped to look around for a
1526 restaurant. A porter immediately materialized at my side.
1527 "At your service," he murmured discreetly. "An auto? Bar?
1529 "What kind of salon?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.
1530 "A hair-styling salon." He looked at my hairdo with
1531 delicate concern. "Master Gaoway is receiving today. I
1532 recommend him most strenuously."
1533 I recollected that Ilina had called me a disheveled perch
1534 and said, "Well, all right."
1535 "Please follow me," said the porter.
1536 Crossing the lobby, he opened a wide low door and said
1537 into the spacious interior, "Excuse me, Master, you have a
1539 "Come in," replied a quiet voice.
1540 I entered. The salon was light and airy and smelled
1541 pleasantly. Everything in it shone -- the chrome, the mirrors,
1542 the antique parquet floor. Shiny half-domes hung from the
1543 ceiling on glistening rods. In the center stood a huge white
1544 barber chair. The Master was advancing to meet me. He had
1545 penetrating immobile eyes, a hooked nose, and a gray Van Dyke.
1546 More than anything else he reminded me of a mature, experienced
1547 surgeon. I greeted him with some timidity, He nodded and,
1548 surveying me from head to foot, began to circle around me. I
1549 began to feel uncomfortable.
1550 "I would like you to bring me up to the current fashion,"
1551 said I, trying not to let him out of my field of view.
1552 But he restrained me gently by my sleeve and. stood
1553 breathing softly behind my back for a few seconds. "No doubt!
1554 No doubt at all", he murmured, then touched me lightly on my
1555 shoulder. "Please," he said sternly, "take a few steps forward
1556 -- five or six -- then turn abruptly to face me."
1557 I obeyed. He regarded me pensively, pulling on his beard.
1558 I thought he was hesitating.
1559 "On the other hand," he said, "sit down."
1561 "In the chair, in the chair."
1562 I lowered myself into its softness and watched him
1563 approach me slowly. His intelligent face was suddenly suffused
1564 with a look of profound chagrin.
1565 "But how is such a thing possible?" he said. "It's
1567 I couldn't find anything to say.
1568 "Gross disharmony," he muttered. "Repulsive... repulsive."
1569 "Is it really that bad?" I asked.
1570 "I don't understand why you came to me," he said, "since
1571 you obviously don't place any value at all on your appearance."
1572 "I am beginning to, from this day on," I said.
1574 "Never mind... I will work on you, but..." He shook his
1575 head, turned impulsively, and went to a high table covered with
1576 shiny devices. The back of the chair depressed smoothly, and I
1577 found myself in a half-reclining position. A big hemisphere
1578 descended toward me from above, radiating warmth, while
1579 hundreds of tiny needles seemed to sink into the nape of my
1580 neck, eliciting a strange combination of simultaneous pain and
1582 "Is it gone yet?" he asked.
1583 The sensation abated.
1584 "It's gone," I said.
1585 "Your skin is good," growled the Master with a certain
1587 He returned with an assortment of the most unlikely
1588 instruments and proceeded to palpate my cheeks.
1589 "And still Mirosa married him," he said suddenly. "I
1590 expected anything and everything, except that. After all that
1591 Levant had done for her. Do you remember that moment when they
1592 were both weeping over the dying Pina? You could have bet
1593 anything that they would be together forever. And now, imagine,
1594 she is being wed to that literary fellow."
1595 I have a rule: to pick up and sustain any conversation
1596 that comes along. When you don't know what it's all about, this
1597 can even be interesting.
1598 "Not for long," I said with assurance. "Literary types are
1599 very inconstant, I can assure you, being one myself."
1600 For a moment his hands paused on my temples.
1601 "That didn't enter my head," he admitted. "Still, it's
1602 wedlock, even though only a civil one.... I must remember to
1603 call my wife. She was very upset."
1604 "I can sympathize with her," I said. "But it did always
1605 seem to me that Levant was in love with that... Pina."
1606 "In love?" exclaimed the Master, coming around from my
1607 other side. "Of course he loved her! Madly! As only a lonely,
1608 rejected-by-all man can love."
1609 "And so it was quite natural that after the death of Pina,
1610 he sought consolation with her best friend."
1611 "Her bosom friend, yes," said the Master approvingly,
1612 while tickling me behind the ear. "Mirosa adored Pina! It's a
1613 very accurate term -- bosom friend! One senses a literary man
1614 in you at once! And Pina, too, adored Mirosa."
1615 "But, you notice," I picked up, "that. right from the
1616 beginning Pina suspected that Mirosa was infatuated with
1618 "Well, of course! They are extremely sensitive about such
1619 things. This was clear to everyone -- my wife noticed it at
1620 once. I recollect that she would nudge me with her elbow each
1621 time Pina alighted on Mirosa's tousled head, and so coyly and
1622 expectantly looked at Levant."
1623 This time I kept my peace.
1624 "In general, I am profoundly convinced," he continued,
1625 "that birds feel no less sensitively than people."
1626 Aha, thought I, and said, "I don't know about birds in
1627 general, but Pina was a lot more sensitive than let's say even
1629 Something bummed briefly over my head, and there was a
1630 soft clink of metal.
1631 "You speak like my wife, word for word," observed the
1632 Master, "so you most probably must like Dan. I was overcome
1633 when he was able to construct a bunkin for that Japanese
1634 noblewoman... can't think of her name. After all, not one
1635 person believed Dan. The Japanese king, himself..."
1636 "I beg your pardon," I said. "A bunkin?"
1637 "Yes, of course, you are not a specialist.... You remember
1638 that moment when the Japanese noblewoman comes out of prison.
1639 Her hair, in a high roller of blond hair, is ornamented with
1641 "Aah," I guessed. "It's a coiffure."
1642 "Yes, it even became fashionable for a time last year.
1643 Although a true bunkin could be made by a very few... even as a
1644 real chignon, by the way. And, of course, no one could believe
1645 that Dan, with his burned hands and half-blind .. Do you
1646 remember how he was blinded?"
1647 "It was overpowering," I said.
1648 "Oh yes, Dan was a true Master. To make a bunkin without
1649 electro-preparation, without biodevelopment... You know, I just
1650 had a thought," he continued, and there was a note of
1651 excitement in his voice. "It just struck me that Mirosa, after
1652 she parts with that literary guy, should marry Dan and not
1653 Levant. She will be wheeling him out on the veranda in his
1654 chair, and they will be listening to the singing nightingales
1655 in the moonlight -- the two of them together."
1656 "And crying quietly out of sheer happiness," I said.
1657 "Yes," the voice of the Master broke, "that would be only
1658 right. Otherwise I just don't know, I just don't understand,
1659 what all our struggles are for. No... we must insist. I'll go
1660 to the union this very day...."
1661 I kept quiet, again. The Master was breathing uneasily by
1663 "Let them go and shave at the automates," he said suddenly
1664 in a vengeful tone, "let them look like plucked geese. We let
1665 them have a taste once before of what it's like; now we'll see
1666 how they appreciate it."
1667 "I am afraid it won't be simple," I said cautiously, not
1668 -- having the vaguest idea of what this was about.
1669 "We Masters are used to the complicated. It's not all that
1670 simple -- when a fat and sweaty stuffed shirt comes to you, and
1671 you have to make a human being out of him, or at the very best,
1672 something which under normal circumstances does not differ too
1673 much from a human being... is that simple? Remember what Dan
1674 said: 'Woman gives birth to a human being once in nine months,
1675 but we Masters have to do it every day.' Aren't those
1677 "Dan was talking about barbers?" I said, just in case.
1678 "Dan was talking about Masters. 'The beauty of the world
1679 rests on our shoulders,' he would say. And again, do you
1680 remember: 'In order to make a man out of an ape, Darwin had to
1681 be an excellent Master.'"
1682 I decided to capitulate and confess.
1683 "This I don't remember."
1684 "How long have you been watching 'Rose of the Salon'?"
1685 "Well, I have arrived just recently."
1686 "Aah, then you have missed a lot. My wife and I have been
1687 watching the program for seven years, every Tuesday. We missed
1688 only one show; I had an attack and lost consciousness. But in
1689 the whole town there is only one man who hasn't missed even one
1690 show -- Master Mille at the Central Salon."
1691 He moved off a few paces, turned various colored lights on
1692 and off, and resumed his work.
1693 "The seventh year," he repeated. "And now -- can you
1694 imagine -- the year before last they kill off Mirosa and throw
1695 Levant into a Japanese prison for life, while Dan is burned at
1696 the stake. Can you visualize that?"
1697 "It's impossible," I said. "Dan? At the stake? Although
1698 it's true that they burned Bruno at the stake, too."
1699 "It's possible," he said with impatience. "In any case, it
1700 became clear to us that they want to fold up the program fast.
1701 But we didn't put up with that. We declared a strike and
1702 struggled for three weeks. Mille and I picketed the barber
1703 automates. And let me tell you that quite a lot of the
1704 townspeople sympathized with us."
1705 "I should think so," I said. "And what happened? Did you
1707 "As you see. They grasped very well what was involved, and
1708 now the TV center knows with whom they are dealing. We didn't
1709 give one step, and if need be, we won't. Anyway we can rest on
1710 Tuesdays now just like in the old days -- for real."
1711 "And the other days?"
1712 "The other days we wait for Tuesday and try to guess what
1713 is awaiting us and what you literary fellows will do for us. We
1714 guess and make bets -- although we Masters don't have much
1716 "You have a large clientele?"
1717 "No, that's not it. I mean homework. It's not difficult to
1718 become a Master, it's difficult to remain one. There is a mass
1719 of literature, lots of new methods, new applications, and you
1720 have to keep up with it all and constantly experiment,
1721 investigate and keep track of allied fields -- bionics, plastic
1722 medicine, organic medicine. And with time, you accumulate
1723 experience, and you get the urge to share your knowledge. So
1724 Mille and I are writing our second book, and practically every
1725 month, we have to update the manuscript. Everything becomes
1726 obsolete right before your eyes. I am now completing a treatise
1727 on a little-known characteristic of the naturally straight
1728 nonplastic hair; and do you know I have practically no chance
1729 of being the first? In our country alone, I know of three
1730 Masters who are occupied with the same subject. It's only to be
1731 expected -- the naturally straight nonplastic hair is a real
1732 problem. It's considered to be absolutely
1733 nonaestheticizable.... However, this may not be of interest to
1734 you? You are a writer?"
1736 "Well, you know, during the strike, I had a chance to run
1737 through a novel. That would not be yours, by any chance?"
1738 "I don't know," I said, "What was it about?"
1739 "Well, I couldn't say exactly.... Son quarrels with
1740 father. He has a friend, an unpleasant fellow with a strange
1741 name. He occupies himself by cutting up frogs."
1742 "Can't remember," I lied -- poor Ivan Sergeyevitch.
1743 "I can't remember either. It was some sort of nonsense. I
1744 have a son, but he never quarrels with me, and he never
1745 tortures animals -- except perhaps when he was a child"
1746 He backed away again and made a slow circuit around me.
1747 His eyes were burning; he seemed to be very pleased.
1748 "It looks as though we can stop here," he said.
1749 I got out of the chair. "Not bad. Not bad at all,"
1750 murmured the Master. I approached the mirror. He turned on
1751 spotlights, which illuminated me from all sides so that there
1752 were no shadows on my face.
1753 In the first instant I did not notice anything unusual
1754 about myself. It was my usual self. Then I felt that it was not
1755 I at all. That it was something much better than I. A whole lot
1756 better. Better looking than I. More benevolent than I.
1757 Appreciably more significant than I. I experienced a sense of
1758 shame, as though I were deliberately passing myself off as a
1759 man to whom I couldn't hold a candle.
1760 "How did you do this thing?" I said in a strangled tone.
1761 "It's nothing," said the Master, smiling in a very special
1762 way. "You turned out to be a fairly easy client, albeit quite
1764 I stood before the mirror like Narcissus and couldn't tear
1765 myself away. Suddenly, I felt awed. The Master was a magician,
1766 and an evil one at that, although he probably didn't realize it
1767 himself. The mirror reflected an extremely attractive lie. An
1768 intelligent, good-looking, monumental vapidity. Well, perhaps
1769 not a total vacuum, for after all I didn't have that low an
1770 opinion of myself. But the contrast was too great. All of my
1771 inner world, everything I valued in myself -- all that could
1772 just as well have not existed. It was no longer needed. I
1773 looked at the Master. He was smiling.
1774 "You have many clients?" I asked.
1775 He did not grasp my meaning, but after all, I didn't
1776 really want him to understand me.
1777 "Don't worry," he replied, "I'll always work on you with
1778 pleasure. The rawest material is the most intriguing."
1779 "Thank you," said I, lowering my eyes so as not to see his
1780 smile. "Thank you. Goodbye."
1781 "Just don't forget to pay," he said placidly. "We Masters
1782 value our work very highly."
1783 "Yes, of course," I caught myself. "Naturally. How much do
1785 He stated how much I owed.
1786 'What?" said I regaining my equilibrium.
1787 He repeated with satisfaction.
1788 "Madness", I said forthrightly.
1789 "Such is the price of beauty," he explained. "You came
1790 here as an ordinary tourist, and you are leaving a king of this
1792 "An impersonator is what I am leaving as," I muttered,
1793 extracting the money.
1794 "No, no, not that bad!" he said confidentially. "Even I
1795 don't know that for sure. And even you are not convinced of it
1796 entirely.... Two more dollars, please. Thank you. Here is 50
1797 pfennigs change. You don't mind pfennigs?"
1798 I had nothing against pfennigs. I wanted to leave as fast
1800 I stood in the lobby for a while, becoming myself again,
1801 and gazing at the metallic figure of Vladimir Sergeyevitch.
1802 After all, all this is not new. After all, millions of people
1803 are not what they pass themselves for. But the damnable barber
1804 had made me over into an empiriocritic. Reality was masked with
1805 gorgeous hieroglyphics. I no longer believed what I saw in this
1806 city. The plaza covered with stereo-plastic was probably in
1807 reality not beautiful at all. Under the elegant contours of the
1808 autos lurked ominous and ugly shapes. And that beautiful
1809 charming woman is no doubt in fact a repulsive malodorous
1810 hyena, a promiscuous dull-witted sow. I closed my eyes and
1811 shook my head. The old devil!
1812 Two meticulously groomed oldsters stopped nearby and began
1813 to debate heatedly the relative merits of baked pheasant
1814 compared with pheasant broiled with feathers. They argued,
1815 drooling saliva, smacking their lips and choking, snapping
1816 their bony fingers under each other's noses. No Master could
1817 help these two. They were Masters themselves and they made no
1818 bones about it. At any rate, they restored my materialist
1819 viewpoint. I went to a porter and inquired about a restaurant.
1820 "Right in front of you," said he and smiled at the arguing
1821 oldsters. "Any cuisine in the world."
1822 I could have mistaken the entrance to the restaurant for
1823 the gates to a botanical garden. I entered, parting the
1824 branches of exotic trees, stepping alternately on soft grass
1825 and coral flagstones. Unseen birds twittered in the luxuriant
1826 greenery, and the discreet clatter of utensils was mixed with
1827 the sound of conversation and laughter. A golden bird flew
1828 right in front of my nose, barely able to carry the load of a
1829 caviar tartine in its beak.
1830 "I am at your service," said the deep velvety voice.
1831 An imposing giant of a man with epaulettes stepped toward
1832 me cut of a thicket.
1833 "Dinner," I said curtly. I don't like maitres-d'hotel.
1834 "Dinner," he said significantly. "In company? Separate
1836 "Separate table. On second thought..."
1837 A notebook instantaneously appeared in his hand.
1838 "A man of your age would be welcome at the table of
1839 Mrs. and Miss Hamilton-Rey."
1841 "Father Geoffrois..."
1842 "I would prefer an aborigine."
1844 "Opir, doctor of philosophy, just now has sat down at his
1846 "That's a possibility," said I.
1847 He put away the book and led me along a path paved with
1848 limestone slabs. Somewhere around us there were people eating,
1849 talking, swishing seltzer. Hummingbirds darted like
1850 multicolored bees in the leaves. The maitre-d'hotel inquired
1851 respectfully, "How would you like to be introduced?"
1852 "Ivan. Tourist and litterateur."
1853 Doctor Opir was about fifty. I liked him at once because
1854 he immediately and without any ceremony sent the maitre-d'hotel
1855 packing after a waiter. He was pink and plump, and moved and
1857 "Don't trouble yourself," he said when I reached. for the
1858 menu. "It's all set already. Vodka, anchovies under egg -- we
1859 call them pacifunties -- potato soup..."
1860 "With sour cream," I interjected.
1861 "Of course!... steamed sturgeon a la Astrakhan... a patty
1863 "I would prefer pheasant baked in feathers."
1864 "No -- don't; it's not the season... a slice of beef, eel
1867 "Cognac," he retorted.
1868 "Coffee with cognac."
1869 "All right, cognac and coffee with cognac. Some pale wine
1870 with the fish and a good natural cigar."
1871 Dinner with Doctor Opir turned out to be most congenial.
1872 It was possible to eat, drink, and listen. Or not to listen.
1873 Doctor Opir did not need a conversation. He required a
1874 listener. I did not have to participate in the talking, I
1875 didn't even supply any commentaries, while he orated with
1876 enthusiastic delight, almost without interruption, waving his
1877 fork, while plates and dishes nonetheless became empty in front
1878 of him with mystifying speed. Never in my life have I met a man
1879 who was so skilled in conversation while his mouth was so fully
1880 packed and so busy masticating.
1881 "Science! Her Majesty!" he exclaimed. "She matured long
1882 and painfully, but her fruits turned out to be abundant and
1883 sweet. Stop, Moment, you are beautiful! Hundreds of generations
1884 were born, suffered, and died, and not one was impelled to
1885 pronounce this incantation. We are singularly fortunate. We
1886 were born in the greatest of epochs, the Epoch of the
1887 Satisfaction of Desires. It may be that not everybody
1888 understands this as yet, but ninety-nine percent of my fellow
1889 citizens are already living in a world where, for all practical
1890 purposes, a man can have all he can think of. O, Science! You
1891 have finally freed mankind. You have given us and will
1892 henceforth provide for us everything -- food -- wonderful food
1893 -- clothing of the best quality and in any quantity, and to
1894 suit any taste! -- shelter -- magnificent shelter. Love, joy,
1895 satisfaction, and for those desiring it, for those who are
1896 fatigued by happiness -- tears, sweet tears, little saving
1897 sorrows, pleasant consoling worries which lend us significance
1898 in our own eyes.... Yes, we philosophers have maligned science
1899 long and angrily. We called forth Luddites, to break up
1900 machines, we cursed Einstein, who changed our whole universe,
1901 we vilified Wiener, who impugned our godlike essence. Well, so
1902 we really lost that godlike substance. Science robbed us of it.
1903 But in return! In return, it launched men to the feasting
1904 tables of Olympus. Aha! Here is the potato soup, that heavenly
1905 porridge. No, no, do as I do... take this spoon, a touch of
1906 vinegar... a dash of pepper... with the other spoon, this one
1907 here, dip some sour cream and... no, no... gently, gently mix
1908 it.... This too is a science, one of the most ancient, older in
1909 any cue than the ubiquitous synthetic.... By the way, don't
1910 fail to visit our synthesizers, Amalthea's Horn, Inc. You
1911 wouldn't be a chemist? Oh yes, you are a litterateur! You
1912 should write about it, the greatest mystery of our times,
1913 beefsteaks out of thin air, asparagus from clay, truffles from
1914 sawdust.... What a pity that Malthus is dead'! The whole world
1915 would be laughing at him! Of course, he had certain reasons for
1916 his pessimism. I am prepared to agree with those who consider
1917 him a genius. But he was too ill-informed, he completely missed
1918 the possibilities in the natural sciences. He was one of those
1919 unlucky geniuses who discover laws of social development
1920 precisely at that moment when these laws cease to operate. I am
1921 genuinely sorry for him. The whole of humanity was but billions
1922 of hungrily gaping mouths to him. He must have lost sleep from
1923 the sheer horror of it. It is a truly monstrous nightmare -- a
1924 billion gaping maws and not one head. I turned back and see
1925 with bitterness how blind they were, the shakers of souls and
1926 the masters of the minds of the recent past. Their awareness
1927 was dimmed by unbroken horror. Social Darwinists! They saw only
1928 the press of the struggle for survival: mobs of hunger-crazed
1929 people, tearing each other to pieces for a place in the sun, as
1930 though there was only that one single place, as though the sun
1931 wasn't sufficient for all! And Nietzsche... maybe he was
1932 suitable for the hungry slaves of the Pharaohs' times, with his
1933 ominous sermons about the master race, with his supermen beyond
1934 good and evil... who needs to be beyond now? It's not so bad on
1935 this side, don't you suppose? There were, of course, Marx and
1936 Freud. Marx, for example, was the first to understand that it
1937 all depended on economics. He understood that to rip the
1938 economics out of the hands of greedy nincompoops and
1939 fetishists, to make it part of the state, to develop it
1940 limitlessly, was the very way to lay the foundations of a
1941 Golden Age. And Freud showed us for what, after all, we needed
1942 this Golden Age. Recollect the source of all human misery.
1943 Unsatisfied instincts, unrequited love, and unsated hunger --
1944 isn't that right? But here comes Her Majesty, Science, and
1945 presents us with satisfactions. And how rapidly all this has
1946 come to pass! The names of gloomy prognosticators are not yet
1947 forgotten, and already... How do you like the sturgeon? I am
1948 under the impression that the sauce is synthetic. Do you see
1949 the pinkish tint? Yes, it is synthetic. In a restaurant we
1950 should be able to expect natural sauce. Waiter! On second
1951 thought -- the devil take it, let's not be so finicky. Go on,
1952 go on... Now what was I saying? Yes! Love and hunger. Satisfy
1953 love and hunger, and you'll see a happy man. On condition, of
1954 course, that your man is secure about the next day. All the
1955 utopias of all times are based on this simplest of
1956 considerations. Free a man of the worry about his daily bread
1957 and about the morrow, and he will become truly free and happy.
1958 I am deeply convinced that children, yes, precisely the
1959 children, are man's ideal. I see the most profound meaning in
1960 the remarkable similarity between a child and the carefree man
1961 who is the object of utopia. Carefree means happy -- and we are
1962 so close to that ideal! Another few decades, or maybe just a
1963 few more years, and we will attain the automated plenty, we
1964 will discard science as a healed man discards his crutches, and
1965 the whole of mankind will become one huge happy family of
1966 children. The adults will be distinguished from the children
1967 only by their ability to love, and this ability will, again
1968 with the help of science, become the source of new and
1969 unheard-of joys and pleasures.... Excuse me, what is your name?
1970 Ivan? So, you must be from Russia. Communist? Aha... well,
1971 everything is different there I know.... And here is the
1972 coffee! Mm, not bad. But where is the cognac? Well, thank you!
1973 By the way, I hear that the Great Wine Taster has retired. The
1974 most grandiose scandal befell at the Brussels contest of
1975 cognacs, which was suppressed only with the greatest of
1976 difficulties. The Grand Prix is awarded to the White Centaur
1977 brand. The jury is delighted! It is something totally
1978 unprecedented! Such a phenomenal extravaganza of sensations!
1979 The declaratory packet is opened, and, oh horrors, it's a
1980 synthetic! The Great Wine Taster turned as white as a sheet of
1981 paper and was physically ill. By the way, I had an opportunity
1982 to try this cognac, and it's really superb, but they run it
1983 from crude and it doesn't even have a proper name. H ex
1984 eighteen naphtha fraction and it's cheaper than hydrolyzed
1985 alcohol.... Have a cigar. Nonsense, what do you mean you don't
1986 smoke? It's not right not to have a cigar after a dinner like
1987 this.... I love this restaurant. Every time I come here to
1988 lecture at the university, I dine at the Olympic. And before
1989 returning, I invariably visit the Tavern. True, they don't have
1990 the greenery, nor the tropical birds, and it's a bit stuffy and
1991 warm and smells of smoke, but they have a genuine, inimitable
1992 cuisine. The Assiduous Tasters gather nowhere but there -- at
1993 the Gourmet. In that place you do nothing but eat. You can't
1994 talk, you can't laugh, it's totally nonsensical to go there
1995 with a woman -- you only eat there! Slowly, thoughtfully..."
1996 Doctor Opir finally ran down, leaned back in his chair,
1997 and inhaled deeply with total enjoyment. I sucked on the mighty
1998 cigar and contemplated the man. I had him well pegged, this
1999 doctor of philosophy. Always and in all times there have been
2000 such men, absolutely pleased with their situation in society
2001 and therefore absolutely satisfied with the condition of that
2002 society. A marvelously well-geared tongue and a lively pen,
2003 magnificent teeth and faultless innards, and a well-employed
2005 "And so the world is beautiful, Doctor?"
2006 "Yes," said the doctor with feeling, "it is finally
2008 "You are a gigantic optimist," said I.
2009 "Our time is the time of optimists. Pessimists go to the
2010 Good Mood Salon, void the gall from their subconscious, and
2011 become optimists. The time of pessimists has passed, just as
2012 the time of tuberculars, of sexual maniacs, and of the military
2013 has passed. Pessimism, as an intellectual emotion, is being
2014 extirpated by that self-same science. And that not indirectly
2015 through the creation of affluence, but concretely by way of
2016 invasion of the dark world of the subcortex. Let's take the
2017 dream generator, currently the most popular diversion of the
2018 masses. It is completely harmless, unusually well adopted to
2019 general use, and is structurally simple. Or consider the
2020 neurostimulators...."
2021 I attempted to steer him into the desired channel.
2022 "Doesn't it seem to you that right there in the
2023 pharmaceutical field science is overdoing it a bit sometimes?"
2024 Doctor Opir smiled condescendingly and sniffed at his
2026 "Science has always moved by trial and error," he said
2027 weightily. "And I am inclined to believe that the so-called
2028 errors are always the result of criminal application. We
2029 haven't yet entered the Golden Age, we are just in the process
2030 of doing so, and all kinds of throwbacks, mobsters, and just
2031 plain dirt are under foot. So all kinds of drugs are put out
2032 which are health-destroying, but which are created, as you
2033 know, from the best of motives; all kinds of aromatics ... or
2034 this... well, that doesn't suit a dinner conversation." He
2035 cackled suddenly and obscenely "You can guess my meaning -- we
2036 are mature people! What was I saying? Oh yes, all this
2037 shouldn't disturb you. It will pass just like the atom bombs."
2038 "I only wanted to emphasize," I remarked, "that there is
2039 still the problem of alcoholism, and the problem of narcotics."
2040 Doctor Opir's interest in the conversation was visibly
2041 ebbing. Apparently he imagined that I challenged his thesis
2042 that science is a boon. To conduct an argument on this basis
2043 naturally bored him, as though, for instance, he had been
2044 affirming the salubriousness of ocean swimming and I was
2045 contradicting him on the basis that I had almost drowned last
2047 "Well, of course..." he mumbled, studying his watch, "we
2048 can't have it all at once.... You must admit, after all, that
2049 it is the basic trend which is the most important.... Waiter!"
2050 Doctor Opir had eaten well, had a good conversation --
2051 professing progressive philosophy -- felt well-satisfied, and I
2052 decided not to press the matter, especially as I really didn't
2053 give a hang about his progressive philosophy, while in the
2054 matters which interested me the most, he probably would not be
2055 concretely informed at all in the final analysis.
2056 We paid up and went out of the restaurant. I inquired, "Do
2057 you ]mow, Doctor, whose monument that is? Over there on the
2059 Doctor Opir gazed absent-mindedly. "Sure enough, it's a
2060 monument," he said. "Somehow I overlooked it before.... Shall I
2061 drop you somewhere?"
2062 "Thank you, I prefer to walk."
2063 "In that case, goodbye. It was a pleasure to meet you....
2064 Of course it's hard to expect to convince you." He grimaced,
2065 shifting a toothpick around his mouth. "But it would be
2066 interesting to try. Perhaps you will attend my lecture? I begin
2068 "Thank you," I said. "What is your topic?"
2069 "Neo-optimist Philosophy. I will be sure to touch upon a
2070 series of questions which we have so pithily discussed today."
2071 "Thank you," I said again. "Most assuredly."
2072 I watched as he went to his long automobile, collapsed in
2073 the seat, puttered with the auto-driver control, fell back
2074 against the seat back, and apparently dozed off instantly. The
2075 car began to roll cautiously across the plaza and disappeared
2076 in the shade and greenery of a side street.
2077 Neo-optimism... Neo-hedonism... Neo-cretinism...
2078 Neo-capitalism... "No evil without good," said the fox. So, I
2079 have landed in the Country of the Boobs. It should he recorded
2080 that the ratio of congenital fools does not vary as a function
2081 of time. It should be interesting to determine what is
2082 happening to the percentage of fools by conviction. Curious --
2083 who assigned the title of Doctor to him? He is not the only
2084 one! There must have been a whole flock of doctors who
2085 ceremoniously granted that title to Neo-optimist Opir. However,
2086 this occurs not only among philosophers.
2087 I saw Rimeyer come into the hall and forgot Doctor Opir at
2088 once. The suit hung on Rimeyer like a sack. Rimeyer stooped,
2089 and his face was flabby. I thought he wavered in his walk. He
2090 approached the elevator and I caught him by the sleeve there.
2091 He jumped violently and turned on me.
2092 "What in hell?" he said. He was clearly unhappy to see me.
2093 "Why are you still here?"
2095 "Didn't I tell you to come tomorrow at noon?"
2096 "What's the difference?" I said. "Why waste time?"
2097 He looked at me, breathing laboriously.
2098 "I am expected. A man is waiting for me in my room, and he
2099 must not see you with me. Do you understand?"
2100 "Don't shout," I said. "People are noticing."
2101 Rimeyer glanced sideways with watery eyes.
2102 "Go in the elevator," he said.
2103 We entered and he pressed the button for the fifteenth
2105 "Get on with your business quickly," he said.
2106 The order was startlingly stupid, so that I was
2107 momentarily disoriented.
2108 "You mean to say that you don't know why I am here?"
2109 He rubbed his forehead, and then said, "Hell, everything's
2110 mixed up.... Listen, I forgot, what is your name?"
2112 "Listen, Zhilin, I have nothing new for you. I didn't have
2113 time to attend to that business. It's all a dream, do you
2114 understand? Matia's inventions. They sit there, writing papers,
2115 and invent. They should all be pitched the hell out."
2116 We arrived at the fifteenth floor and he pressed the
2117 button for the first.
2118 "Devil take it," he said. "Five more minutes and he'll
2119 leave.... In general I am convinced of one thing, there is
2120 nothing to it. Not in this town, in any case." He looked at me
2121 surreptitiously, and turned his eyes away. "Here is something I
2122 can tell you. Look in at the Fishers. Just like that, to clear
2124 "The Fishers? What Fishers?"
2125 "You'll find out for yourself," he said impatiently. "But
2126 don't get tricky with them. Do everything they ask." Then, as
2127 though defending himself, he added, "I don't want any
2128 preconceptions, you understand."
2129 The elevator stopped at the first floor and he signaled
2131 "That's it," he said. "Then we'll meet and talk in detail.
2132 Let's say tomorrow at noon."
2133 "All right," I said slowly. He obviously did not want to
2134 talk to me. Maybe he didn't trust me. Well, it happens!
2135 "By the way," I said, "you have been visited by a certain
2137 It seemed to me that he started.
2139 "Naturally. He asked me to tell you that he will be
2141 "That's bad, devil take it, bad...." muttered Rimeyer.
2142 "Listen... damn, what is your name?"
2144 The elevator stopped.
2145 "Listen, Zhilin, it's very bad that he has seen you....
2146 However, what the hell is the difference. I must go now." Re
2147 opened the elevator door, "Tomorrow we'll have a real good
2148 talk, okay? Tomorrow... and you look in on the Fishers. Is that
2150 He slammed the door with all his strength.
2151 "Where will I look for them?" I asked.
2152 I stood awhile, looking after him. He was almost running,
2153 receding down the corridor with erratic steps.
2155 <ul><a name=5></a><h2>Chapter FIVE</h2></ul>
2157 I walked slowly, keeping to the shade of the trees. Now
2158 and then a car rolled by. One of these stopped and the driver
2159 threw open the door, leaned out, and vomited on the pavement.
2160 He cursed weakly, wiped his mouth with his palm, slammed the
2161 door, and drove off. He was on the elderly side, red-faced,
2162 wearing a loud shirt with nothing under it.
2163 Rimeyer apparently had turned into a drunkard. This
2164 happens fairly often: a man tries hard, works hard, is
2165 considered a valuable contributor, he is listened to and made
2166 out as a model, but just when he is needed for a concrete task,
2167 it suddenly turns out that he has grown puffy and flabby, that
2168 wenches are running in and out of his place, and that he smells
2169 of vodka from early morning.... Your business does not interest
2170 him, while at the same time, he is frightfully busy, is
2171 constantly meeting someone, talks confusingly and murkily, and
2172 is of no help whatsoever. And then he turns up in the alcoholic
2173 ward, or a mental clinic, or is involved in a legal process. Or
2174 he gets married unexpectedly -- strangely and ineptly -- and
2175 this marriage smells strongly of blackmail. ... One can only
2176 comment: "Physician, heal thyself."
2177 It would still be nice to hunt up Peck. Peck is hard as
2178 flint, honest, and he always knows everything. You haven't even
2179 finished the rundown on the tech control, and haven't had a
2180 chance to get off the ship, before he is buddy-buddy with the
2181 cook, is already fully informed and involved in the
2182 investigation of the dispute between the Commander of the
2183 Pathfinders and the chief engineer, who didn't settle the
2184 matter of some prize; the technicians are already planning an
2185 evening in his honor, and the deputy director is listening to
2186 his advice in a quiet corner... Priceless Peck! He was born in
2187 this city and has spent a third of his life here.
2188 I found a telephone booth, and rang information for Peck
2189 Xenai's number and address. I was asked to wait. As usual, the
2190 booth smelled of cats. The plastic shelf was covered with
2191 telephone numbers and obscene images. Someone had carved quite
2192 deeply, as with a knife, the strange word "SLUG." I opened the
2193 door, to lighten the string atmosphere, and watched the
2194 opposite shady side of the street, where a barman stood in
2195 front of his establishment in a white jacket with rolled-up
2196 sleeves, smoking a cigarette. Then I was told that according to
2197 the data at the beginning of the year, Peck resided at No. 31
2198 Liberty Street, number 11-331. I thanked the operator and
2199 dialed the number at once. A strange voice told me that I had a
2200 wrong number. Yes, the number was correct, and so was the
2201 address, but no Peck lived there, and if he had, they didn't
2202 know when he left or where he had gone. I hung up, left the
2203 booth, and crossed the street to the shady side.
2204 Catching my eye, the barman came to life and said from
2205 afar, "Come in, why don't you?"
2206 "Don't know that I'd like to," I said.
2207 "So you won't be friendly, eh?" he said. "Come in anyway.
2208 We'll have a talk. I feel bored."
2210 "Tomorrow morning," I said, "at ten o'clock, at the
2211 university, there will be a philosophy lecture on Neo-optimism.
2212 It will be given by the renowned Doctor Opir from the capital.
2213 The barman listened with avid interest -- he even stopped
2215 "How do you like that!" he said. "So they have come to
2216 that! The day before yesterday, they chased all the girls out
2217 of a night club, and now they'll be having lectures. We'll show
2219 "It's about time," I said.
2220 "I don't let them in," he continued, getting more
2221 animated. "I have a sharp eye for them. A guy could be just
2222 approaching the door, when I can spot him for an Intel
2223 'Fellows,' I say, 'an Intel is coming.' And the boys are all
2224 well picked; Dodd himself is here every night after training.
2225 So, he gets up and meets this Intel at the door, and I don't
2226 even know what goes on between them, but be passes him on
2227 elsewhere. Although it's true that sometimes they travel in
2228 bunches. In that case, so there wouldn't be a to-do, we lock
2229 the door -- let them knock. That's the right way, isn't it?"
2230 'That's okay by me," I said. I had had enough of him.
2231 There are people who pall unusually quickly. "Let them."
2232 "What do you mean -- let them?"
2233 "Let them knock. In other words, knock on any door."
2234 The barman looked at me with growing alertness.
2235 "What say you move on," he said.
2236 "How about a quick one," I offered.
2237 "Move along, move along," he said. "You won't get served
2239 We looked at each other awhile,, then he growled
2240 something, backed up, and slid the glass door in front of him.
2241 "I am no Intel," I said. "I am a poor tourist. A rich
2243 He looked at me with his nose flattened against the glass.
2244 I made a motion as though knocking a drink back. Re mumbled
2245 something and went back into the darkness of the place -- I
2246 could see him wandering aimlessly among empty tables. The place
2247 was called the Smile. I smiled and went on.
2248 Around the corner was a wide main thoroughfare. A huge
2249 van, plastered with advertisements, was parked by the curb. Its
2250 back was swung down for a counter, on which were piled
2251 mountains of cans, bottles, toys, and stacks of
2252 cellophane-wrapped clothing and underwear. Two teenage girls
2253 twittered some sort of nonsense while selecting blouses.
2254 "Pho-o-ny," squeaked one. The other, turning the blouse this
2255 way and that, replied, "Spangles, spangles and not phony."
2256 "Here by the neck it phonies." "Spangles." "Even the star
2258 The driver of the van, a gaunt man with huge, horn-rimmed
2259 dark glasses, sat on the step of the advertising rotunda. His
2260 eyes were not visible, but, judging by his relaxed mouth and
2261 sweat-beaded nose, he was asleep. I approached the counter. The
2262 girls stopped talking and stared at me with parted mouths. They
2263 must have been about sixteen, and their eyes were vacant and
2264 blue, like those of young kittens.
2265 "Spangles," I said. "No phonying and lots of sparkle."
2266 "And around the neck?" asked the one who was trying on the
2268 "Around the neck it's practically a masterpiece."
2269 "Spangles," said the other uncertainly.
2270 "OK, let's look at another one," offered the first
2271 peacefully. "This one here."
2272 "This one is better, the silvery one with the frame."
2273 I saw books. They were magnificent books. There was a
2274 Strogoff with such illustrations as I had never even heard of.
2275 There was <i>Change of Dream</i> with an introduction by
2276 Saroyan. There was a Walter Mintz in three volumes. There was
2277 almost an entire Faulkner, <i>The New Politics</i> by Weber,
2278 <i>Poles of Magnificence</i> by Ignatova, The <i>Unpublished
2279 Sian She-Cuey</i>, <i>History of Fascism</i> in the "Memory of
2280 Mankind" edition. There were current magazines, and almanacs,
2281 pocket Louvres, Hermitage, and Vatican. There was everything!
2282 "It phonies too but it has a frame." "Spangles." I grabbed the
2283 Mintz. Holding the two volumes under my arm, I opened the
2284 third. Never have I seen such a complete Mintz. There were even
2286 "How much will that be?" I called.
2287 The girls gaped again; the driver sucked in his lips and
2289 "What?" he said huskily.
2290 "Who is the owner here?" I said.
2291 He got up and came to me.
2292 "What would you like?"
2293 "I want this Mintz. How much is it?"
2294 The girls giggled. He stared at me in silence, then
2295 removed his glasses.
2296 "You are a foreigner?"
2297 "Yes, I am a tourist."
2298 "It's the most complete Mintz."
2299 "Of course, I can see that. I was stunned when I saw it."
2300 "Me too," he said, "when I saw what you were after."
2301 "He is a tourist," twittered one of the girls. "He doesn't
2303 "It's all free," said the driver. "Personal needs fund. To
2304 take care of personal needs."
2305 I looked back at the bookshelf.
2306 "Did you see <i>Change of Dream</i>?" asked the driver.
2307 "Yes, thank you, I have it."
2308 "About Strogoff I will not even inquire."
2309 "How about the <i>History of Fascism</i>?"
2310 "An excellent edition."
2311 The girls giggled again. The driver's eyes popped in
2313 "Scram, snot faces," he barked.
2314 The girls jumped. One of them thievishly grabbed several
2315 blouse packages. They ran across the street, where they stopped
2316 and continued to gaze at us.
2317 "With frames!" said the driver. His thin lips twitched. "I
2318 should drop this whole idea. Where do you live?"
2319 "On Second Waterway."
2320 "Aha, in the thick of the mire.... Let's go -- I will drop
2321 you off. I have a complete Schedrin in the van, which I don't
2322 even exhibit; I have the entire classics library; the whole
2323 Golden Library, the complete Treasures of Philosophic Thought."
2324 "Including Doctor Opir's?"
2325 "Bitch tripe," said the driver. "Salacious bum! Amoeba!
2326 Rut do you know Sliy?"
2327 "Not much," I said. "I don't like him. Neo-individualism,
2328 as Doctor Opir would say."
2329 "Doctor Opir stinks," said the driver. "While Sliy is a
2330 real man. Of course, there is the individualism. But at least
2331 he says what he thinks and does what he says. I'll get some
2332 Sliy for you.... Listen, did you see this? And this!"
2333 He dug himself up to his elbows in books. He stroked them
2334 tenderly and his face shone with rapture.
2335 "And this," he kept on. "And how about this Cervantes?"
2336 An oldish lady of imposing bearing approached and started
2337 to pick over the canned goods.
2338 "You still don't have Danish pickles... didn't I ask you
2340 "Go to hell," said the driver absent-mindedly.
2341 The woman was stunned. Her face slowly turned crimson.
2342 "How dare you!" she hissed.
2343 The driver looked at her bullishly.
2344 "You heard what I said. Get out of here!"
2345 "Don't you dare!" said the woman. "What is your number?"
2346 "My number is ninety-three," said the driver,
2347 "Ninety-three -- is that clear enough? And I spit on all of
2348 you. Is that clear? Any other questions?"
2349 "What a hooliganism!" said the woman with dignity. She
2350 took two cans of delicacies, scanned the counter, and with
2351 great precision, ripped the cover off the <i>Cosmic Man</i>
2352 magazine. "I'll remember you, number ninety-three! These aren't
2353 the old times for you." She wrapped the two cans in the cover.
2354 "We'll see each other in the municipal court."
2355 I took a firm hold on the driver's arm. His rigid muscles
2357 "The nerve!" said she majestically and departed.
2358 She stepped along the sidewalk, proudly carrying her
2359 handsome head, which was topped with a high cylindrical
2360 coiffure. She stopped at the corner, opened one of the cans,
2361 and proceeded to pick out chunks with elegant fingers.
2362 I released the driver's arm.
2363 "They ought to be shot," he said suddenly. "We ought to
2364 strangle them instead of dispensing pretty books to them." He
2365 turned toward me, and I could see his eyes were tortured.
2366 "Shall I deliver your books?"
2367 "Well, no," I said. "Where will I put them?"
2368 "In that case, shove off," said the driver. "Did you take
2369 your Mintz? Then go and wrap your dirty pantaloons in it."
2370 He climbed up into the cab. Something clicked and the back
2371 door began to rise. You could hear everything crashing and
2372 rolling inside the van. Several books and some shiny packets,
2373 boxes, and cans fell on the pavement. The rear panel had not
2374 yet closed completely when the driver shut his door and the van
2375 took off with a jerk.
2376 The girls had already disappeared. I stood alone on the
2377 empty street and watched the wind lazily turn the pages of
2378 History of Fascism at my feet. Later a gang of kids in striped
2379 shorts came around the corner. They walked by silently, hands
2380 stuck in their pockets. One jumped down on the pavement and
2381 began to kick a can of pineapple, with a slick pretty cover,
2382 like a football down the street.
2384 <ul><a name=6></a><h2>Chapter SIX</h2></ul>
2386 On the way home, I was overtaken by the change of shifts.
2387 The streets filled up with cars. Controller copters appeared
2388 over the intersections, and sweaty police cleared constantly
2389 threatening jams with roaring bull horns. The cars moved
2390 slowly, and the drivers stuck heads out of windows to light up
2391 from each other, to yell, to talk and joke while furiously
2392 blowing their horns. There was a instant screech of clashing
2393 bumpers. Everyone was happy, everyone was good-natured, and
2394 everyone glowed with savage glee. It seemed as though a heavy
2395 load had just fallen from the soul of the city, as though
2396 everyone was seized with an enviable anticipation. Fingers were
2397 pointed at me and the other pedestrians. Several times I was
2398 prodded with bumpers while crossing -- the girls doing it with
2399 the utmost good nature. One of them drove alongside me for
2400 quite a while, and we got acquainted. Then a line of
2401 demonstrators with sober faces walked by on the median,
2402 carrying signs. The signs appealed to people to join the
2403 amateur club ensemble Songs of the Fatherland, to enter the
2404 municipal Culinary Art groups, and to sign up for condensed
2405 courses in motherhood and childhood. The people with signs were
2406 nudged by bumpers with special enthusiasm. The drivers threw
2407 cigarette butts, apple cores, and paper wads at them. They
2408 yelled such things as "I'll subscribe at once, just wait till I
2409 put my galoshes on," or "Me, I'm sterile," or "Say, buddy,
2410 teach me motherhood." The sign carriers continued to march
2411 slowly in between the two solid streams of cars, unperturbed
2412 and sacrificial, looking straight ahead with the sad dignity of
2414 Not far from my house, I was set upon by a flock of girls,
2415 and when I finally struggled through to Second Waterway, I had
2416 a white aster in my lapel and drying kisses on my cheeks, and
2417 it seemed I had met half the girls in town. What a barber! What
2419 Vousi, in a flaming orange blouse, was sitting in the
2420 chair in my study. Her long legs in pointy shoes rested on the
2421 table, while her slender fingers held a long slim cigarette.
2422 With her head thrown back, she was blowing thick streams of
2423 smoke at the ceiling, through her nose.
2424 "At long last!" she cried, seeing me. "Where have you been
2425 all this time? As you can see, I've been waiting for you."
2426 "I've been delayed," I said, trying to recollect if I had
2427 indeed promised to meet her.
2428 Wipe off the lipstick," she demanded. "You look silly!
2429 What's this? Books? What do you need books for?"
2430 "What do you mean by that?"
2431 "You are really quite a problem! Comes back late, hangs
2432 around with books. Or are those pornos?"
2433 "It's Mintz," I said.
2434 "Let me have them!" She jumped up and snatched the books
2435 out of my grasp. "Good God! What nonsense -- all three are
2436 alike. What is it? <i>History of Fascism</i>... are you a
2438 "How can you say that, Vousi!"
2439 "Then, what do you need them for? Are you really going to
2442 "I just don't understand," she said peevishly. "I liked
2443 you from the first. Mother says you're a writer, and I went and
2444 bragged to everyone, like a fool, and then you turn out to be
2445 the next thing to an Intel."
2446 "How could you, Vousi!" I said with reproach. By now I had
2447 realized that it was impermissible to be taken for an Intel.
2448 "These bookos were simply needed in my literary business,
2450 "Bookos!" she laughed. "Bookos! Look at what I can do."
2451 She threw back her head and blew two thick streams of smoke out
2452 of her nostrils. "I got it on the second try. Pretty good,
2454 "Remarkable aptitude," I remarked.
2455 "Instead of laughing at me, you should try it yourself.
2456 ... A lady taught me at the salon today. Slobbered all over me,
2457 the fat cow... Will you try it?"
2458 "How come she did that?"
2461 "Not normal. Or maybe a sad sack.... What's your name? I
2464 "An amusing name! You'll have to remind me again. Are you
2467 "So-o... and I went and told everyone that you are a
2468 Tungus. Too bad.... Say, why not have a drink?"
2470 "Today I should have a strong drink to forget that
2472 She ran out into the living room and came back with a
2473 tray. We had some brandy and looked at each other, not having
2474 anything to say. I felt ill at ease. I couldn't say why, but I
2475 liked her. I sensed something, something I couldn't put my
2476 finger on; something which distinguished her from the
2477 long-legged, smooth-skinned pin-up beauties, good only for the
2478 bed. I had the impression that she sensed something in me, too.
2479 "Beautiful day, today," she said, looking away.
2480 "A bit hot," I observed.
2481 She sipped some brandy; I did too. The silence stretched.
2482 "What do you like to do the most?" she asked.
2483 "It depends. And you?"
2484 "Same with me. In general, I like to have fun and not have
2485 to think about anything."
2486 "So do I," I said. "At least I do right now."
2487 She seemed to perk up a little. I understood suddenly what
2488 was the matter: during the whole day, I had not met a single
2489 truly pleasant person, and I simply had gotten tired of it.
2490 There was nothing to her, after all.
2491 "Let's go somewhere," she said.
2492 "We could," I said. I really didn't want to go anywhere, I
2493 wanted to sit and relax in the cool room for a while.
2494 "I can see you're not too eager," she said.
2495 "To be honest, I would prefer to sit around here for a
2497 "Well then, amuse me."
2498 I considered the problem, and recounted the story of the
2499 traveling salesman in the upper bunk. She liked it, but I think
2500 she missed the point. I made a correction in my aim, and told
2501 her the one about the president and the old maid. She laughed a
2502 long time, kicking her wonderfully long legs. Then, taking
2503 courage from another shot of brandy, I told about the widow
2504 with the mushrooms growing on the wall. She slid down to the
2505 floor and almost knocked over the tray. I picked her up under
2506 the armpits, hoisted her back up in the chair, and delivered
2507 the story of the drunk spaceman and the college girl, at which
2508 point Aunt Vaina came rushing in and inquired fearfully what
2509 was going on with Vousi, and whether I was tickling her
2510 unmercifully. I poured Aunt Vaina a glass, and addressing
2511 myself to her personally, recounted the one about the Irishman
2512 who wanted to be a gardener. Vousi was completely shattered,
2513 but Aunt Vaina smiled sorrowfully and confided that Major
2514 General Tuur liked to tell the same story, when he was in a
2515 good mood. But in it there was, she thought, a Negro instead of
2516 the Irishman, and he aspired to the duties of a piano tuner and
2517 not a gardener. "And you know, Ivan, the story ended somehow
2518 differently," she added after some thought. At this point I
2519 noticed Len standing in the doorway, looking at us. I waved and
2520 smiled at him. He seemed not to notice, so I winked at him and
2521 beckoned for him to come in.
2522 "Whom are you winking at?" asked Vousi, through lingering
2524 "It's Len," I said. It was really a pleasure to watch her,
2525 as I love to see people laugh, especially such a one as Vousi,
2526 beautiful and almost a child.
2527 "Where's Len?" she wondered.
2528 There was no Len in the doorway.
2529 "Len isn't here," said Aunt Vaina, who was sniffing the
2530 brandy with approval, and did not notice a thing. "The boy went
2531 to the Ziroks' birthday party today. If you only knew, Ivan..."
2532 "But why does he say it was Len?" asked Vousi, glancing at
2534 "Len was here," I said. "I waved at him, and be ran away.
2535 You know, he looked a bit wild to me."
2536 "Ach, we have a highly nervous boy there," said Aunt
2537 Vaina. "He was born in a very difficult time, and they just
2538 don't know how to deal with a nervous child in these modern
2539 schools. Today I let him go visit."
2540 "We'll go, too, now," said Vousi. "You'll walk with me.
2541 I'll just fix myself up, because on account of you everything
2542 got smeared. In the meantime, you can put on something more
2544 Aunt Vaina wouldn't have minded staying behind to tell me
2545 a few more things and maybe show me a photo album of Len, but
2546 Vousi dragged her off and I heard her ask her mother behind the
2547 door, "What's his name? I just can't remember it. He is a jolly
2549 "Vousi!" admonished Aunt Vaina.
2550 I laid out my entire wardrobe on the bed and tried to
2551 imagine what Vousi would consider a decently dressed man. Until
2552 now, I had thought I was dressed quite satisfactorily. Vousi's
2553 heels were already beating an impatient rat-a-tat on the study
2554 floor. Not having come up with anything, I called her in.
2555 "That's all you have?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.
2556 "It really isn't good enough?"
2557 "Well, it will pass. Take off the jacket and put on this
2558 Hawaiian shirt... or better yet, this one here. They sure have
2559 dressing problems in your Tungusia! Hurry up. No, no, take off
2560 the shirt you have on."
2561 "You mean, without an undershirt?"
2562 "You know, you really are a Tungus. Where do you think you
2563 are going -- to the pole or to Mars? What's this under your
2565 "A bee stung me," I said, hurriedly pulling on my shirt.
2567 The street was already dark. The fluorescents shone palely
2568 through dark foliage.
2569 "Which way are we bound?" I asked.
2570 "Downtown, of course.... Don't grab my arm, it's hot! At
2571 least you know how to fight, I hope?"
2573 "That's good. I like to watch."
2574 "To watch, I like, too," I said.
2575 There were a lot more people out in the streets than in
2576 the daytime. Under the trees, in the bushes, and in the
2577 driveways there were groups of unsettled-looking individuals.
2578 They furiously smoked crackling synthetic cigars, guffawed,
2579 spat negligently and often, and spoke in loud rough voices.
2580 Over each group hung the racket of radio receivers. Under one
2581 streetlight a banjo twanged, and two youngsters, twisting in
2582 weird contortions and yelling out wildly, were performing
2583 fling, a currently fashionable dance, a dance of great beauty
2584 when properly executed. The youngsters knew how. Around them
2585 stood a small crowd, also yelling lustily and clapping their
2587 "Shall we have a dance?" I offered.
2588 "But no, no..." hissed Vousi, taking me by the hand and
2589 increasing her pace.
2590 "And why not? You do fling?"
2591 "I'd sooner hop with alligators than this crowd."
2592 "Too bad," I said, "They look like regular fellows."
2593 "Yes, each one by himself," said Vousi, "and in the
2595 They hung around on the corners, huddled around
2596 streetlights, gauche, smoked to the gills, leaving the
2597 sidewalks behind them strewn with bits of candy paper,
2598 cigarette butts, and spittle. They were nervous and showy
2599 melancholic, yearning, constantly looking around, stooped. They
2600 were awfully anxious not to look like others, and at the same
2601 time, assiduously imitated each other and two or three popular
2602 movie stars. There were really not that many, but they stood
2603 out like sore thumbs, and it always seemed to me that every
2604 town and the whole world was filled with them -- perhaps
2605 because every city and the whole world belonged to them by
2606 night. And to me, they seemed full of some dark mystery, But I
2607 too used to stand around of evenings in the company of friends,
2608 until some real people turned up and took us off the streets,
2609 and many a time I have seen the same groups in all the cities
2610 of the world, where there was a lack of capable men to get rid
2611 of them. But I never did understand to the very end what force
2612 it is that turns these fellows away from good books, of which
2613 there are so many, from sport establishments, of which this
2614 town had plenty, and even from ordinary television sets, and
2615 drives them out in the night streets with cigarettes in their
2616 teeth and transistor sets in their ears, to stand and spit as
2617 far as possible, to guffaw as offensively as possible, and to
2618 do nothing. Apparently at fifteen, the most attractive of all
2619 the treasures in the world is the feeling of your own
2620 importance and ability to excite everyone's admiration, or at
2621 least attract attention. Everything else seems unbearably dull
2622 and dreary, including, perhaps above all, those avenues of
2623 achieving the desirable which are offered by the tired world of
2625 "This is where old Rouen lives," said Vousi. "He has a new
2626 one with him every night. The old turnip has managed it so that
2627 they all come to him of their own will. During the fracas, his
2628 leg was blown off.... You see there is no light in his place,
2629 they are listening to the hi-fi. On top of which, he's ugly as
2631 "He lives well who has but one leg," I said
2633 Of course she had to giggle at this, and continued.
2634 "And here lives Seus. He is a Fisher. Now there's a man
2636 "Fisher," I said. "And what does he do, this
2638 "He Fishers. That's what Fishers do -- they Fisher. Or are
2639 you asking where he works?"
2640 "No, I mean to ask where does he Fisher?"
2641 "In the Subway." Suddenly she stopped. "Say, you wouldn't
2643 "Me? Why, does it show?"
2644 "There is something about you, I noticed at once. We know
2645 about these bees that sting you in the back."
2646 "Is that right?" I said.
2647 She slipped her arm through mine.
2648 "Tell me a story," she said, cajoling. "I never had a
2649 Fisher among my friends. Will you tell me a story?"
2650 "Well now... shall I tell you about the pilot and the
2652 She tweaked my elbow.
2654 "What a hot evening," I said. "It's a good thing you had
2655 me take off my jacket!"
2656 "Anyway, everybody knows. Seus talks about it, and so do
2658 "Ah, so," I said with interest. "And what does Seus tell?"
2659 She let go of my arm at once.
2660 "I didn't hear it myself. The girls told me."
2661 "And what did they tell?"
2662 "Well, this and that.... Maybe they put it all on. Maybe,
2663 you know. Seus had nothing to do with it."
2665 "Don't think anything about Seus, he's a good guy and he
2666 keeps his mouth closed."
2667 "Why should I be thinking about Seus?" I said to quiet
2668 her. "I have never even laid eyes on him."
2669 She took my arm again and enthusiastically announced that
2670 we were going to have a drink now.
2671 "Now's the very time for us to have a drink."
2672 She was already using the familiar address with me. We
2673 turned a corner and came out on a wide thoroughfare. Here it
2674 was lighter than day. The lamps shone, the walls glowed, the
2675 display windows were lambent with multicolored fires. This was,
2676 apparently, one of Ahmad's circles of paradise. But I imagined
2677 it differently. I expected roaring bands, grimacing couples,
2678 half-naked and naked people. But here it was relatively quiet.
2679 There were lots of people, and it seemed to me that most were
2680 drunk, but they were all very well and differently dressed and
2681 all were gay. And almost all smoked. There was no wind, and
2682 waves of bluish smoke undulated around the lights and lanterns.
2683 Vousi dragged me into some establishment, found a couple of
2684 acquaintances, and disappeared after promising to find me
2685 later. The crowd was dense, and I found myself pressed against
2686 the bar. Before I could gather my wits, I found myself downing
2687 a shot. A brown middle-aged man with yellow whites of the eye
2688 was booming into my face.
2689 "Kiven hurt his leg -- right? Brush became an antique and
2690 is now quite useless. That makes three -- right? And on the
2691 right they haven't got nobody. Phinney is on the right, and
2692 that's worse than nobody. A waiter, that's what be is."
2693 "What are you drinking?" I asked.
2694 "I don't drink at all," replied the brown one with
2695 dignity, breathing strong fumes at me. "I have jaundice. Ever
2697 Behind me, someone fell off a stool. The noise modulated
2698 up and down. The brown one, sitting down next to me, was
2699 shouting out some story about some character who almost died of
2700 fresh air after breaking some pipe at work. It was hard to
2701 understand any part of it, as various stories were being
2702 shouted from all sides.
2703 "... Like a fool, he quieted down and left, and she called
2704 s taxi truck, loaded up his stuff, and had it dumped outside
2706 "... I wouldn't have your TV in my outhouse. You can't
2707 think of one improvement on the Omega, my neighbor is an
2708 engineer, and that's just what he says -- you can't think up an
2709 improvement on the Omega..."
2710 "... That's the way their honeymoon ended. When they
2711 returned home, his father enticed him in the garage -- and his
2712 father is a boxer -- and trounced him until he lost
2713 consciousness. They called a doctor later..."
2714 "... So, all right, we took enough for three... and their
2715 rule is, you know, take as much as you wish, but you get to
2716 swallow all of it... and they are watching us by now, and he is
2717 carried away -- and says -- let's take more... well, I says to
2718 myself, enough of this, time to break knuckles..."
2719 "... Dear child, with your bust, I wouldn't know any
2720 grief, such a bosom is one in a thousand, but don't think I'm
2721 flattering you, that's not my style..."
2722 A scrawny girl with bangs down to the tip of her nose
2723 climbed up on the vacant stool next to me and began to pound
2724 with puny fists on the bar, yelling, "Barman, barman, a drink."
2725 The din died down again, and I could hear behind me a
2726 tragic whisper -- "Where did he get it?" "From Buba, you know
2727 him, he is an engineer." "Was it real?" "It's scary, you could
2728 croak." "Then you need some kind of pill --" "Quiet, will you?"
2729 "Oh, all right, who would be listening to us? You got one?"
2730 "Buba gave me one package, he says any drugstore has them by
2731 the ton... here, look." "De... Devon -- what is it?" "Some sort
2732 of medicine, how would I know?" I turned around. One was
2733 red-faced with a shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, and with a
2734 hairy chest. The other was strangely haggard-looking with a
2735 large-pored nose. Both were looking at me.
2736 "Shall we have a drink?" I said.
2737 "Alcoholic," said the pore-nose.
2738 "Don't, Pete. Don't start up, please," said the red-faced
2740 "If you need some Devon, I've got it," I said loudly.
2741 They jumped back. Pore-nose began to look around
2742 cautiously. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see several
2743 faces turn toward us and grow still.
2744 "Let's go, Pat," said red-face. "Let's go! The hell with
2746 Someone put a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw
2747 a handsome sunburned man with powerful muscles.
2749 "Friend," he said benevolently, "drop this business. Drop
2750 it while it's not too late. Are you a Rhinoceros?"
2751 "I am a hippopotamus," I joked.
2752 "No, don't. I'm serious. Did you get beat up, maybe?"
2754 "All right, don't feel bad about it. Today it's you,
2755 tomorrow it's them.... As for Devon and all that -- that's
2756 crap, believe me. There's lots of crap in the world, but that
2757 is the crap of all crap."
2758 The girl with the bangs advised me, "Crack him in the
2759 teeth... what's he sticking his nose in for... lousy dick."
2760 "Lapping it up, and doing it up brown, aren't you?" said
2761 the sunburned one coolly, and turned his back on us. His back
2762 was huge, and studded with bulging muscles under a tight
2763 half-transparent shirt.
2764 "None of your business," said the girl at his back. Then
2765 she said to me, "Listen, friend, call the barman for me -- I
2766 can't seem to get through to him."
2767 I gave her my glass and asked, "What's to do?"
2768 "In a minute, we'll all go," replied the girl. Having
2769 swallowed the alcohol, she went limp all at once. "As to what
2770 to do -- that's up to luck. Without luck, you can't make out.
2771 Or you need money if you deal with promoters. You're probably a
2772 visitor? Nobody here drinks that dry vodka. How is it your way,
2773 you should tell me about it.... I'm not going anywhere today,
2774 I'll go to the salon instead. I feel terrible and nothing seems
2775 to help.... Mother says -- have a child. But that's dull too,
2776 what do I need one for?"
2777 She closed her eyes and lowered her chin on her entwined
2778 fingers. She looked brazen, but at the same time crestfallen. I
2779 attempted to rouse her but she stopped paying attention to me,
2780 and suddenly started shouting again, "Barman, barman, a drink!"
2781 I looked for Vousi. She was nowhere to be seen. The cafe
2782 began to empty. Everyone was in a hurry to get somewhere. I got
2783 off my stool, too, and left the cafe. Streams of people flowed
2784 down the street. They were all going in the same direction, and
2785 in about five minutes, I was swept out onto a big square. It
2786 was huge and poorly lighted, a wide gloomy space bordered by a
2787 ring of streetlights and store windows. It was full of people.
2788 They stood pressed against each other, men, women, and
2789 youngsters, boys and girls, shifting from foot to foot, waiting
2790 for I knew not what. There was almost no talking. Here and
2791 there cigarette tips flared, lighting hollow cheeks and
2792 compressed lips. Then a clock began to strike the hour, and
2793 over the square, gigantic luminous panels sprang into flaming
2794 light. There were three of them -- red, blue, and green,
2795 irregularly shaped rounded triangles. The crowd surged and
2796 stood still. Around me, cigarettes were put out with subdued
2797 movements. The panels went out momentarily and then started to
2798 flash in rotation: red-blue-green, red-blue-green... I felt a
2799 wave of hot air on my face, and was suddenly dizzy. They were
2800 astir around me. I got up on tiptoes. In the center of the
2801 square, the people stood motionless; I had the impression that
2802 they were seized rigid and did not fall only because they were
2803 pressed in by the crowd. Red-blue-green, red-blue-green.
2804 Wooden, upturned faces, blackly gaping mouths, staring, bulging
2805 eyes. They weren't even winking there, under the panels. A
2806 total quiet fell, so that I jumped when a piercing woman's
2807 voice nearby yelled: "Shivers!" All at once, tens of voices
2808 responded: "Shivers! Shivers!" People on the sidewalk on the
2809 square's perimeter began to clap hands in rhythm with the
2810 flashes, and to chant in even voices, "Shi-vers! Shi-vers!
2811 Shi-vers!" Somebody prodded me in the back with a sharp elbow.
2812 I was pressed forward to the center, toward the panels. I took
2813 a step and another and started through the crowd, pushing the
2814 stiffened bodies aside. Two youngsters, rigid as icicles,
2815 suddenly started thrashing wildly, grabbing at each other,
2816 scratching and pounding with all their strength, but their
2817 faces remained frozen in the direction of the flashing sky...
2818 red-blue-green, red-blue-green. And just as suddenly as they
2819 started, they grew still again.
2820 At this paint, finally, I understood that all this was
2821 extraordinarily amusing. Everyone laughed. There was lots of
2822 room around me and music thundered forth. I swept up a charming
2823 girl and we began to dance, as they used to dance, as dancing
2824 should be done and was done a long, long time ago, as it was
2825 done always with abandon, so that your head swam, and so that
2826 everyone admired you. We stepped out of the way, and I held on
2827 to her hands, and there was no need to talk about anything, and
2828 she agreed that the van driver was a strange man. Can't stand
2829 alcoholics, said Rimeyer, and pore-nose is the most genuine
2830 alcoholic, and what about Devon I said, how could you be
2831 without Devon when we have an excellent zoo, the buffaloes love
2832 to wallow in the mud, and bugs are constantly swarming out of
2833 it. Rim, I said, there are some fools who said that you are
2834 fifty years old -- such nonsense when I wouldn't give you over
2835 twenty-five -- and this is Vousi, I told her about you, but I
2836 am intruding on you, said Rimeyer; no one can intrude on us,
2837 said Vousi, as for Seus he's the best of Fishers, he grabbed
2838 the splotcher and got the ray right in the eye, and Hugger
2839 slipped and fell in the water and said -- wouldn't it be
2840 something for you to drown -- look your gear are melting away,
2841 aren't you funny, said Len, there is such a game of boy and
2842 gangster, you know, you remember we played with Maris... Isn't
2843 it wonderful, I have never felt so good in my life, what a
2844 pity, when it could be like this every day. Vousi, I said,
2845 aren't we great fellows, Vousi, people have never had such an
2846 important problem before, and we solved it and there remained
2847 only one problem, Vousi, the sole problem in the world, to
2848 return to people a spiritual content, and spiritual concerns,
2849 no, Seus, said Vousi, I love you very much, Oscar, you are very
2850 nice, but forgive me, would you, I want it to be Ivan, I
2851 embraced her and felt that it was right to kiss her and I said
2853 Boom! Boom! Boom! Something exploded in the dark night sky
2854 and tinkling sharp shards began to fall on us, and at once I
2855 felt cold and uncomfortable. There were machine guns firing!
2856 Again the guns rattled. "Down, Vousi," I yelled, although I
2857 could not yet understand what was going on, and threw her down
2858 on the ground and covered her with my body against the bullets,
2859 whereupon blows began to rain on my face.
2860 Bang, bang, rat-tat-tat-tat... around me people stood like
2861 wooden pickets. Some were coming to and rolling their eyeballs
2862 inanely. I was half reclining on a man's chest, which was as
2863 hard as a bench, and right in front of my eyes was his open
2864 mouth and chin glistening with saliva... Blue-green,
2865 blue-green, blue-green... Something was missing.
2866 There were piercing screams, cursing, someone thrashed and
2867 screeched hysterically. A mechanical roar grew louder over the
2868 square. I raised my head with difficulty. The panels were right
2869 overhead, the blue and green flashing regularly, while the red
2870 was extinguished and raining glass rubble. Rat-tat-tat-tat and
2871 the green panel broke and darkened. In the blue remaining light
2872 unhurried wings floated by, spewing the reddish lightning of a
2874 Again I attempted to throw myself on the ground, but it
2875 was impossible, as they all stood around me like pillars.
2876 Something made an ugly snap quite near me, and a yellow-green
2877 plume rose skyward from which puffed a repulsive stench. Pow!
2878 Pow! Another two plumes hung over the square. The crowd howled
2879 and stirred. The yellow vapor was caustic like mustard, my eyes
2880 and mouth filled, and I began to cry and cough, and around me,
2881 everyone began to cry and cough and yell hoarsely: "Lousy bums!
2882 Scoundrels! Sock the Intels!" Again the roar of the engine
2883 could be heard, coming in louder and louder. The airplane was
2884 returning. "Down, you idiots," I yelled. Everyone around me
2885 flopped down all over each other. Rat-tat-tat-tat! This time
2886 the machine gunner missed and the string apparently got the
2887 building opposite us. To make up for the miss, the gas bombs
2888 fell again right on target. The lights around the square went
2889 out, and with them the blue panel, as a free-for-all started in
2890 the pitch-black dark.
2892 <ul><a name=7></a><h2>Chapter SEVEN</h2></ul>
2894 I'll never know how I arrived at that fountain. It must be
2895 that I have good instincts and ordinary cold water was exactly
2896 what I needed. I crawled into the water without taking off my
2897 clothes, and lay down, feeling better immediately. I was lying
2898 on my back, drops rained on my face, and this was unbelievably
2899 pleasant. It was quite dark here, and dim stars shone through
2900 the branches and the water. It was very quiet. For several
2901 minutes I was watching a brighter star, for some reason unknown
2902 to me, which was slowly moving across the sky, until I realized
2903 that I was watching the relay satellite Europa. How far from
2904 all this, I thought, how degrading and senseless to remember
2905 the revolting mess on the square, the disgusting foul mouthings
2906 and screechings, the wet phrumping of the gas bombs, and the
2907 putrid stench which turned your stomach and lungs inside out.
2908 Understanding freedom as the rapid satisfaction and
2909 multiplication of needs and desires, I recollected, people
2910 distort their natures as they engender within themselves many
2911 senseless and stupid desires, habits and the most unlikely
2913 Priceless Peck, he loved to quote old pundit Zosima as he
2914 circled around a well-laid table, rubbing his hands. We were
2915 snot-nosed undergrads then and ingenuously believed that such
2916 pronouncements, in our time, were meant only to show off
2917 flashes of humor and erudition.... At this point in my
2918 reflections, someone noisily plunged into the water some ten
2920 At first he coughed hoarsely, spat and blew his nose, so
2921 that I hurried to leave the water, then he started to splash,
2922 finally became quiet, and suddenly discharged himself of a
2924 "Shameless lice," he growled. "Whores, swine... on live
2925 people! Stinking hyenas, rotten scum... learned prostitutes,
2926 filthy snakes." He hawked furiously again. "It bothers them
2927 that people are having a good time! Stepped on my face, the
2928 crud!" He groaned nasally and painfully, "The hell with this
2929 shiver business. That will be the day when I'll go again."
2930 He moaned again and rose. I could hear the water running
2931 from his clothes. I could dimly perceive his swaying figure. He
2933 "Hey, friend, have a smoke on you?"
2935 "Low-lifers! I didn't think to take them out. Just fell in
2936 with everything on." He splashed over to me and sat down
2937 alongside. "Some moron stepped on my cheek," he informed me.
2938 "They marched over me, too," I said. "The people went
2940 "But, you tell me, where do they get the tear gas?" he
2941 said. "And machine guns?"
2942 "And airplanes," I added.
2943 "An airplane means nothing," he contradicted. "I have one
2944 myself. I bought it cheap for seven hundred crowns.... What do
2945 they want, that's what I don't understand."
2946 "Hoodlums," I said. "They should have their faces pulped
2947 properly, and that would be the end of that argument."
2948 He laughed bitterly.
2949 "Someone did! For that you get worked over good.... You
2950 think they didn't get beat up? And how they got beat up! But
2951 apparently that isn't enough.... We should have driven them
2952 right into the ground, together with their excrement, but we
2953 passed up the chance.... And now they are giving us the
2954 business! The people got soft, that's what, I tell you. Nobody
2955 gives a damn. They put their four hours in, have a drink and
2956 off to the shivers! And you can pot them like clay pigeons." He
2957 slapped his sides in desperation. "Those were the times," he
2958 cried. "They didn't dare open their mouths! Should one of them
2959 even whisper, guys in black shirts or maybe white hoods would
2960 pay a night visit, crunch him in the teeth, and off to the camp
2961 he went, so there wouldn't be a peep out of him again.... In
2962 the schools, my son says, everyone bad-mouths fascism: Oh dear,
2963 they hurt the Negroes' feelings; oh dear, the scientists were
2964 witch-hunted; oh dear, the camps; oh dear, the dictatorship!
2965 Well, it wasn't witch-hunting that was needed, but to hammer
2966 them into the ground, so there wouldn't be any left for
2967 breeding!" He drew his hand under his nose, slurping long and
2969 "Tomorrow morning, I have to go to work with my face all
2970 out of shape.... Let's go have a drink, or we'll both catch
2972 We crawled through the bushes and came out on the street.
2973 "The Weasel is just around the corner," he informed me.
2974 The Weasel was full of wet-haired half-naked people. They
2975 seemed depressed, somehow embarrassed, and gloomily bragging
2976 about their contusions and abrasions. Several young women, clad
2977 only in panties, clustered around the electric fireplace,
2978 drying their skirts. The men patted them platonically on their
2979 bare flesh. My companion immediately penetrated into the thick
2980 of the crowd, and swinging his arms and blowing his nose with
2981 his fingers, began to call for "hammering the bastards into the
2982 ground." He was getting some weak support.
2983 I asked for Russian vodka, and when the girls left, I took
2984 off my sport shirt and sat by the fireplace. The barman
2985 delivered my glass and returned at once to his crossword in the
2986 fat magazine. The public continued its conversation.
2987 "So, what's the shooting for? Haven't we had enough of
2988 shooting? Just like little boys, by God... just spoiling some
2990 "Bandits, they're worse than gangsters, but like it or not
2991 that shiver business is no good, too."
2992 "That's right. The other day mine says to me, 'Papa, I saw
2993 you; you were all blue like a corpse and very scary' -- and
2994 she's only ten. So how can I look her in the eyes? Eh?"
2995 "Hey anybody! What's an entertainment with four letters?"
2996 asked the barman without raising his head.
2997 "So, all right, but who dreamed all this up -- the shiver
2998 and the aromatics? Eh and also..."
2999 "If you got drenched, brandy is best."
3000 "We were waiting for him on the bridge, and along he comes
3001 with his eyeglasses and some kind of pipe with lenses in it. So
3002 up he goes over the rail with his eyeglasses and his pipe, and
3003 he kicked his legs once and that was that. And then old Snoot
3004 comes running, after having been revived, and he looks at the
3005 guy blowing bubbles. "Fellows," he says, "What the hell is the
3006 matter with you, are you drunk or something, that's not the guy
3007 -- I am seeing him for the first time..."
3008 "I think there ought to be a law -- if you are married,
3009 you can't go to the shiver."
3010 "Hey somebody," again the bartender, "What's a literary
3011 work with seven letters -- a booklet, maybe?"
3012 "So, I myself had four Intels in my squad, machine gunners
3013 they were. It's quite true that they fought like devils. I
3014 remember we were retreating from the warehouse, you know
3015 they're still building a factory there, and two stayed behind
3016 to cover us. By the way, nobody asked them, they volunteered
3017 entirely by themselves. Later we came back and found them
3018 hanging side by side from the rail crane, naked, with all their
3019 appurtenances ripped off with hot pincers. You understand? And
3020 now, I'm thinking, where were the other two today? Maybe they
3021 were the very same guys to treat me to some tear gas, those are
3022 the types that can do such things."
3023 "So who didn't get hung? We got hung by various places,
3025 "Hammer them into the ground right up to their noses, and
3026 that'll be the end of that!"
3027 "I'm going. There is no point in hanging around here, I'm
3028 getting heartburn. They must have fixed everything up by now,
3030 "Hey, barman, girls, let's have one last one."
3031 My shirt had dried, and as the cafe emptied, I pulled it
3032 on and went over to sit at a table and to watch. Two
3033 meticulously dressed gentlemen in the corner were sipping their
3034 drinks through straws. They called attention to themselves
3035 immediately -- both were in severe black suits and black ties,
3036 despite the very warm night. They weren't talking, and one of
3037 them constantly referred to his watch. After a while, I grew
3038 tired of observing them. Well, Doctor Opir, how do you like the
3039 shivers? Were you at the square? But of course you were not.
3040 Too bad. It would have been interesting to know what you
3041 thought of it. On the other hand, to the devil with you. What
3042 do I care what Doctor Opir thinks? What do I think about it
3043 myself? Well, high-grade barber's raw material, what do you
3044 think? It's important to get acclimatized quickly
3045 and not stuff the brain with induction, deduction, and
3046 technical procedures. The most important thing is to get
3047 acclimatized as rapidly as possible. To get to feel like one of
3048 them.... There, they all went back to the square. Despite
3049 everything that happened, they still went back to the square
3050 again. As for me, I don't have the slightest desire to go back
3051 there. I would, with the greatest of pleasure at this point, go
3052 back to my room and check out my new bed. But when would I go
3053 to the Fishers? Intels, Devon, and Fishers. Intels -- maybe
3054 they are the local version of the Golden Youth? Devon... Devon
3055 must be kept in mind, together with Oscar. But now the Fishers.
3056 "The Fishers; that's a little bit vulgar," said one of the
3057 black suits, not whispering, but very quietly.
3058 "It all depends on temperament," said the other. "As for
3059 me, personally I don't condemn Karagan in the slightest."
3060 "You see, I don't condemn him either. It's a little
3061 shocking that he picked up his options. A gentleman would not
3062 have behaved that way."
3063 "Forgive me, but Karagan is no gentleman. He is only a
3064 general manager. Hence the small-mindedness and the
3065 mercantilism and a certain what I might call commonness..."
3066 "Let's not be so hard on him. The Fishers -- that's
3067 something intriguing. And to be honest, I don't see any reason
3068 why we should not involve ourselves. The old Subway -- that's
3069 quite respectable. Wild is much more elegant than Nivele, but
3070 we don't reject Nivele on that account."
3071 "'You really are seriously considering?"
3072 "Right now, if you wish.... It's five to two, by the way.
3074 They got up, said a friendly and polite goodbye to the
3075 bartender, and proceeded toward the exit. They looked elegant,
3076 calm, and condescendingly remote. This was astounding luck. I
3077 yawned loudly, and muttering, "Off to the square," followed
3078 them, pushing stools out of my way. The street was poorly
3079 illuminated, but I saw them immediately. They were in no hurry.
3080 The one on the right was the shorter, and when they passed
3081 under the street lights, you could see his safe, sparse hair.
3082 As near as I could tell, they were no longer conversing.
3083 They detoured the square, turned into a dark alley,
3084 avoided a drunk who tried to strike up a conversation, and
3085 suddenly, without one backward glance, turned abruptly into a
3086 garden in front of a large gloomy house. I heard a heavy door
3087 thud shut. It was a minute before two.
3088 I pushed off the drunk, entered the garden, and sat down
3089 on a silver-painted bench under a lilac bush. The wooden bench
3090 was situated on a sandy path which ran through the garden. A
3091 blue lamp illuminated the entrance of the house, and I
3092 discerned two caryatids supporting the balcony over the door.
3093 This didn't look like the entrance to the old subway, but as
3094 yet, I couldn't tell for sure, so I decided to wait.
3095 I didn't have to wait long. There was a rustle of steps
3096 and a dark figure in a cloak appeared on the path. It was a
3097 woman. I did not grasp immediately why her proudly raised head
3098 with a high cylindrical coiffure, in which large stones
3099 glistened in the starlight, seemed familiar. I arose to meet
3100 her, and said, trying to sound both respectful and mocking,
3101 "You are late, madam, it's after two."
3102 She was not in the least startled.
3103 "You don't say!" she exclaimed. "Can it be my watch is so
3105 It was the very same woman who had the altercation with
3106 the van driver, but of course she did not recognize me. Women
3107 with such disdainful-looking lower lips never remember chance
3108 meetings. I took her by the arm, and we mounted the wide stone
3109 steps. The door turned out to be as heavy as a reactor-well
3110 cover. There was no one in the entrance hall. The woman,
3111 without turning, flung the cloak on my arm and went ahead, and
3112 I paused for a second to look at myself in the huge mirror.
3113 Good man, Master Gaoway, but it still behooved me to stay in
3114 the shadows. We entered the ballroom.
3115 No, this was anything but a subway. The room was enormous
3116 and incredibly old-fashioned. The walls were lined with dark
3117 wood, and fifteen feet up, there was a gallery with a railing.
3118 Pink blond-curled angels smiled down with only their blue lips
3119 from a far-flung ceiling. Almost the entire floor of the room
3120 was covered with rows of soft massive chairs covered with
3121 embossed leather. Elegantly dressed people, mostly middle-aged
3122 men, sat in them in relaxed and negligent poses. They were
3123 looking at the far end of the room, where a brightly lit
3124 picture blazed against a background of black velvet.
3125 No one turned to look at us. The woman glided toward the
3126 front rows, and I sat down near the door. By now, I was almost
3127 sure that I had come here for nothing. There was silence and
3128 some coughs, and lazy streams of smoke curled upward from the
3129 fat cigars; many bald pates glistened under the chandeliers. My
3130 attention turned to the picture. I am an indifferent
3131 connoisseur of paintings, but it looked like a Raphael, and if
3132 it was not genuine, it was certainly a perfect copy.
3133 There was a deep brassy gong, and simultaneously a tall,
3134 thin man in a black mask appeared by the side of the picture. A
3135 black leotard covered his body from head to toe. He was
3136 followed by a limping, hunchbacked dwarf in a red smock. In his
3137 short, extended pawlike arms, he held a dully glinting sword of
3138 a most wicked appearance. He went to the right of the picture
3139 and stood still, while the masked individual stepped forward
3140 and spoke in a measured tone: "In accordance with the bylaws
3141 and directives of the Honorable Society of Patrons, and in the
3142 name of Art, which is holy and irreproducible, and the power
3143 granted me by you, I have examined the history and worth of
3144 this painting and now --"
3145 "Request a halt," sounded a curt voice behind me.
3146 Everyone turned around. I also turned around and saw that
3147 three young, obviously very powerful, and immaculately dressed
3148 men were looking at me full in the face. One had a monocle in
3149 his right eye. We studied each other for a few seconds, and the
3150 man with the monocle twitched his cheek and let it drop. I got
3151 up at once. They moved toward me together, stepping softly and
3152 soundlessly. I tried the chair, but it was too massive. They
projects / libcds.git / blob